Friday, October 2, 2009

If you bonk me on the side of the head, perhaps my eyes will become uncrossed.

After having read this post, I've figured out that my brain was scattered because I was too upset about my tire (read below.) Things flow in 12 directions. Just read and excuse.

Folks, we did it. We made it to 100! I read 9 Uncle Wiggily's this evening and Hubs followed up with the 100th book being "What is a Wookiee?" Oh praise His Holy Name, we've reached 100. My eyes? They are spinning in my head. I've never been particularly strong at reading aloud. I'm happy to say that I'm improving on that. I had hazy head today, though. Hazy head does not make for good out-loud reading. It is done, though. 100 reading steps for the 100 book challenge are done. Should I tell you that she would really like to earn the end of the year limo ride with the Principal to CiCi's pizza. How many reading steps is that? 1000.

Here's big news. My brother called me. He phoned. He talked briefly. He said that it is over between him and his wife. I told him that we aren't mad at him. I also told him that I knew that there was more going on in his life than the marital troubles that they have been having for quite some time. "We're not surprised, Billy." I told him how he just needs to take what he's been through, use it as a learning bit in life, pull up the bootstraps, make positive changes and move on.

It appears that his accident was a bit of a doozy. He fell asleep and rear-ended a 2008 HHR. It smacked the car in front of it. It is totaled. He went to court today and told them that his insurance had lapsed. He will be without a license for a year, has a $230.00 fine and is working out financial arrangements with the HHR insurance company to repay for damages.

Frankly, I think that the car bit was the final straw. It is just an object, though. He's trying to make good and I applaud him for that.

In other news, the tire pressure light was on in the RAV this morning. I think that when I skinnied around the construction vehicles that had my way hopelessly blocked yesterday, I made the tire unhappy when I very slowly drove up over a curb. I swear, if you touch the tires on this car in any way other than happy, they lose air. UGH. The evening update is that Hubs topped the tires off and the right front appears to be leaking. He thinks that I picked up a nail. Crap. Another one bites the dust.

I went to check the tire pressure, as I knew that the tire gauge was in my car because I saw it this weekend and VOILA! It had vanished. I stopped by the auto parts store, got a new one (chrome with a case-- oooo!) and explained to the lady at the counter that having shared custody of the tire pressure gauge with my husband was not working for me. Hubs is to tackle that this evening. Hopefully just putting more air in it will work. Let's face it. It's my vehicle. Nothing is ever that easy. My other brother doesn't work for Goodyear anymore, so this means that I may actually have to take it up the street to the other tire place. Double UGH.

Have I mentioned the pumpkin patch trip tomorrow? No? Well, we have an 80% chance of rain. Requirement of uniforms is suspended in want of warm clothing, preferably jeans, sweaters, rain coats, boots and the like. I did talk to K-'s teacher who told me that it is possible that it would be canceled if it is bad. She said that standing in the cold rain for 5 hours doesn't sound that appealing to her.

I had a field day at the thrift store. Oh, listen to what I found!
- A brand new Groovy Girl. She's still in the box! She was 2.50. We're going to put her up for the Christmas stocking. Previously, I found a Groovy Girl bed. K- will love them!
- A brand new perling bead set (fusing beads.) A stocking stuffer for 90 cents.
- A deluxe set of fusing beads with a bunch of bead boards. I paid 2.50 for that. We did some when we got home.
- Three computer games for K- for stocking stuffers. Two were 45 cents. One was 90 cents. We have Reader Rabbit, Madeline in Europe and Hot Wheels car creator. Hubs will go ahead and change the cases. The disks are in beautiful condition.
- A brand new bathing suit for K- for 1.00.
- Two pairs of winter boots for K-. One pair, an LL Bean size 12, were $1.50. They are muckin' winter boots, so she'll wear those to the pumpkin patch tomorrow. The others were 2.50 and are a size 13. Very much like the muckin' LL Bean.
- Uniform legal turtleneck sweaters, button down long sleeved shirts and long sleeved polo in a variety of prices, but none over 1.50.
- A brand new pair of GLITTENS! They are from Andes Gifts and are handmade in Bolivia of Alpaca fibers. They still have the tag on them! K- is so excited.
- We've netted some more crock-pot recipes. I'm so glad!

While surfing this evening, I ran across this piece from the Today show. How it breaks my heart that an adopted child was returned to the system to be adopted out again because at the age of 2 1/2 and after having been in custody of his new parental unit for 18 months, he wasn't attaching in the way that his adoptive mother had hoped.

ADOPTED CHILDREN ARE NOT CLEARANCE RACK PURCHASES THAT CAN BE RETURNED IF THEY DON'T FIT. IF YOU CAN'T GIVE YOURSELF COMPLETELY TO ADOPTION, THEN DON'T DO IT!

I'm sure if you asked the mother, she has probably never given it a thought to give any of her 5 biological daughters to the system. And yet, there is a family that took a child that was abandoned on a roadside in South America into their home, guaranteed him a good home and backed out of the deal. It is unexcuseable. And no, I don't apologize for the way I feel. I am an adoptive mother.

12 comments:

Melissa said...

I have to agree with you on the Mother thing. What did she think that an abandoned baby found on the roadside would NOT have issues? She was living in lala land.

That said, with her attitude the baby is better off, and probably will not remember. People really dont have much memory from that age.

And also, my word verification? whitedoom.

Bailey's Leaf said...

You'd be surprised the memory that little ones can have. From the huge amount of foster parent classes we went through, we learned of one little girl that was se*xua*lly abused at the age of 3 months. She went insane when any man came in looking like the offender. She also would have a fit if a man wore the same after shave as the man who abused her.

From a normal kid standpoint, K- has a pretty incredible memory even from places that we went at the age of 1. The places that she can navigate and the things that she tell us!

But yes, the baby is probably better off, but sad that there was yet another family thinking that adopted babies are returnable.

Melissa said...

As for the plagiocephaly? Did she get him a helmet? Its totally treatable at that age as their skulls are still soft.

Both my niece and nephew had to wear the helmets as did both of my friends kids. Yay for the HUGE percentage of kids that arent dying of SIDS anymore. But BOO for the fact that so many babies have to wear a helmet for 23 hours a day for about a year. It doesnt seem to bother them much though, they get used to it quickly. And I want to give people that stare at the babies a poke in the eye lol.

Bailey's Leaf said...

Oops. I think you got me instead of someone else.

Melissa said...

No, the woman complained that he had a flat head (the one who gave her kid away). That is called Plagiocephaly sic?

Babies should sleep on their backs to prevent SIDS.

It WORKS! The exact percentage of SIDS deaths have gone down as the percentage of Plagicephaly patients have gone up. I dont think its a coincidence. Not when its just about an exact percentage.

Tummy time when they are awake helps, but flattening to a certain extent is really going up. The kids need to be fitted with helmets to reshape their heads because facial abnormalities can happen otherwise. (face pushed forward).

That grabbed my attention when I read the article you linked. That she just said he had a flat head from obvious abuse annoyed me.

Melissa said...

POSITIONAL plagiocephaly. Sorry.

If you have a good sleeper and stick to the sleeping on the back thing (which is recommended) it happens often)

Bailey's Leaf said...

Ah! So sorry! That is a piece that I didn't get. I know that the news that I saw was talking about how the child wasn't attaching the way that she hoped that he would. I was talking with my mother and telling her that she is also talking about a boy vs. 5 daughters. Boys are different. Add to that the move from one country to another where the language and traditions are completely different. Young, but I know that he was affected by this. Friends adopted a 22 month old son from Ethiopia and had similar difficulties. With their son, he has big attachment difficulties (he is 5 1/2 now), but they have muddled through it and have him seeing a psychiatrist and a psychologist. He's on med's and they have to tweak them, but they are trying with him. Though he was only 22 months old when they got him, he was with his mother when she passed away from Malaria. He lived in an orphanage. Skulls scare him. He has a most difficult time at Halloween. Intense heat freaks him out. You can tell that there are some things that push buttons to remind him of his motherland, but in the end, he is shuffling through and they are doing the best they can for him.

Didn't know about the head thing with the baby at all. Come to think about it, I do recall hearing about how he was left in a crib for extended periods but didn't connect the two. Yes, very correctable, but needs caught early. Sorry about that!

Rach said...

I'm SO sorry about that tire. That is beyond stinky. :o(

And, congrats on the books! I read aloud SOOOOOOO much during the day I think I'm going to lose my voice. ;o)

As for that woman (I refuse to call her a "Mother" for she certainly wasn't one to that sweet baby), she'll have to face her maker one day and he'll be the one to judge her for the choices she has made. That said, I feel incredibly sorry for the baby. :o(

Michelle said...

oh that story was so, so sad to read :(

concretenprimroses said...

This is a complicated issue and I found myself wanting to write a lot, but I deleted and shortened.
I am a foster parent, and certainly the best thing we did for our one full time child was to keep her.
That said I don't think I have enough information to demonize that woman for what she has done.
Bio moms are called heroes for giving up babies for the most frivolous of reasons. Seems like a double standard to me.
Kathy

Tracey - Just Another Mommy Blog said...

I have to agree with Kathy. We would never rant and rave about a bio mom and her decision to do what was best for her child by releasing him into adoption. Why the double standard for an adoptive mom whose heart was probably torn after 18 months of not being able to bond with a traumatized child?

Bailey's Leaf said...

My thought is that having watched someone deal with an adoptive son with attachment issues since he was 22 months old (his age when he came to their home), not enough time was given. Just now, L- has medication that is truly making a difference and therapy is helping him to make real strides. His age now? 6 years and 4 months. It has been a long road for my friend. There are days we've talked and she's cried. By no means is it an easy road. Just my thoughts for whatever it is worth.