Tales from the Trenches: A Hodge Podge of Irritation

If you spill something at a party, clean it up please. - This past weekend, K- and I were at a birthday party for a few of her friends. The kids went through the food line, we got them all settled, then the adults went through. My friend's aunt bobbled the scoop for the lasagna, but looked down relieved and said, "But I didn't get any on me." The problem? Though she caught the scoop, she flung noodles and sauce onto the carpeted floor. She kept going and left it there. I quietly picked up a few napkins and wiped it up as she was continuing through line, but still standing right there. She didn't even seem to think it was a problem. I have to admit that my friend's aunt always has some socially odd behavior whenever I've been around her. It was just weird.

Let people get both feet in the door first before pouncing on them in your lovely museum. - This past weekend, we went to the Toledo Museum of Art. We got there at open and were looking forward to hanging out and seeing what lovely things they have. When we were there the last time, we kind of had to do the quick 1 hr. tour. So, we're talking and walking in the door when I have a guard stop me and tell me that I'm going to have to "keep my purse in front of me" and "I'm going to request that you put your keys into your purse." My purse is probably 6" x 4" x 2". I told her that I could keep it in front of me, but I opened my purse and proved that there was no room for me to put my keys inside. (It isn't like I have the keys to the city, but they won't fit.) Well, you are going to have to hold onto them! Hmmm. Hi. Welcome to our museum. Your purse is probably the smallest purses that I will see today, but let me pounce on you as you come in the door. Nevermind those women with the Mary Poppins bags. You can sit comfortably inside those, but I'm going to harass you about yours. Men have wallets bigger than my purse! (Well, maybe not. Still . . .) And no, I didn't care about her asking about the purse, just the way that she did it. I understand not wanting to wipe art out or anything. But they don't know that. I know that I've had people wipe things out with purses before, too. However, there isn't enough bag to even have any swing to it!

I know we have a child with us at the museum. She won't touch anything, I promise. I know that it is a foreign concept, but she does know how to behave in a museum or gallery. However, I know there are parents who could care less. We are not those parents. - I'm going to hand it to museum guards. Truly, they should be sainted. Though we ran into a few crabby ones who were just tense having K- in the room, there were some that were really fun. We had them laughing when K- and I were looking up the nose at a bust to see if we could see nose hairs. We were looking for statues without underw*ear. You go with what works. It's like a silent alarm sounds when someone under 50" walks in the door. There are parents (believe me as I know this from experience) that just let their kids run wild. K- is respectful. She walks. She looks with her eyes. She doesn't touch, not even a button, unless given permission. She touched something once in Milwaukee-- a sculpture of a guy that looked real and she couldn't understand why it wasn't moving-- she was three and got yelled at. Loudly. She was gently touching his shirt. I had turned around for a split second to look at something (distracted by Sol LeWitt.) But still, for the guard who pointed out the drum button, bless you. For the one that showed that no matter which side of the room you were on, there was a "moving foot" in the painting. For the one that showed us that we were being watched by the lady in the painting, you guys rock. For the others, lighten up a bit, please.

We have many doors. They are all open. They say the names of galleries on them. We lead you to believe that there will be art at the end, but really there will be a really old guy giving you a hard time and wondering why you are in that section of the museum. - If there are places in the museum you DON'T want us to enter, just lock the door or post "do not enter" on the door. It isn't hard. Instead, we twisted and turned through the hallways, find a gorgeous looking door and upon reaching the room it was in, a crotchety old man says, "Well, why are you down here?" "We wanted to look at the beautiful door." "Well, there's nothing else down here." You know what he did? He quietly escorted us back out to the main hall. Wouldn't it be cost effective to lock the door and leave cranky butt at home?

-- Both of these incidents happened within 5 minutes of walking into the museum. Needless to say, I wasn't feeling so warm and fuzzy about our visit, but we did end up spending 2 1/2 hours there despite of the rocky start.

It is wonderful that you want to smell good. I appreciate that, but when you come into watch a demonstration and are gassing those of us out in front of you with your very, VERY strong perfume, I'm thinking that it is a hair too strong. - We were watching a glass blowing demo. I was explaining everything to K-, as I had blown glass in college for 2 years. (Yes, I miss it terribly.) She was really getting into it when the older couple sat behind us. Hubs looked at me and asked if it was just him. No. The problem was that it got stronger as we sat there. Is it possible that she was reapplying?

Children in skirts far too short. - More and more often these days I've been noticing the hemline of girls skirts rising. There was a little girl in today that had a hemline just skimming her underw*ear. The child was maybe 6 or 7. It was a flouncy little skirt that in the high winds that we had today, I'm sure that more than one person saw her underclothes as her skirt flew up. Modesty, please. Let us teach our children a little modesty.

PTA Fundraiser - Could they have picked funkier stuff to peddle? I mean, how many people really buy their wrapping paper from their child for $10.00/roll? End o' the season clearance for $1.00 or less a roll, thank you. Scented candles, sports paraphernalia, magazines, an odd assortment of foodstuffs, flower bulbs, wraps, bags and ribbons. All terribly over-priced. YUCK!

To note:
I'm not normally this crabby. I just had one of those things-getting-on-my-nerves weekends. Y'all understand, right?

Smiles in my day:
- Though I was pommeled by 10-12, picking up Buckeyes and cleaning up the hulls was a nice way to start my day. I was out for about an hour and 15 minutes, clearing the middle courtyard and listening to the nuts as they fell onto the protective clear corrugated roof. I did have a few that bailed into me hard enough to leave bruises. Those will probably show up later.
- K- read her poetry and song book last night. So great!
- Have I mentioned that K- journals in her class on a daily basis? She now loves journals and actually wrote "NO CAT" the other day (on purpose) in her journal. She just needed me to spell "ALLOWED" to her. Is it because Smudge likes to bite her?
- Though K- had a big ole fit this evening and was punished for it, she ended up lying on our floor as I was putting laundry away and fell asleep. No more crying and whining. Whew-who!
- New recipes to try in my Crock-Pot!