I heard a humming behind me while I was standing at the counter at work. I looked and it was my cell. I had turned the phone to vibrate while attending a meeting last night.
It was K-.
I hadn't scooped it up in enough time to get her call. I tried to call and there was no answer. She was leaving me a message.
"Hi, Mommy. It's me. Um, at lunchtime today, I had to stand on the wall. B- was talking and I got in trouble, but honest Mom, I didn't do it. I love you. Bye."
I tried my MIL's cell again and K- answered.
"Mom, I didn't do it. I didn't talk. Honest, mom."
"K-, you're not in trouble. I believe you. Tell me what went on."
She told me that B- was squashing a piece of bread into the floor and told K- to look at it. It was a silent lunch, which is something they do if the noise level gets out of control. Knowing that B- was talking, the monitor assumed K- was talking too and they were both sent to stand on the wall.
K- did not get to finish her lunch. She had a beautiful container of blueberries and grapes that she was unable to eat, which means that she had to be famished when she got out of school. I don't send out of control portions, but I do send ample amount of good nutritional items to have her eat. Her reflux is a fine balance that I work with. Must not overfill. Today, that was obviously not the problem.
K- also had to pick up trash left behind. A true germaphobe's daughter shines through when she said, "And mom, they had me crawl under the table to get two forks that people had in their mouths!"
Of course, I asked if she had washed her hands.
I was also irate.
My child had been wronged. The offending child realized the error of her ways and apologized to K-. "Mommy, B- apologized and I forgave her." I told her that I think that is great that she did that. I told her that no, it wasn't right that she was punished for someone else's bad choices, but sadly that happens sometimes.
I've asked K- to talk to her teacher about what went on. "Mom, can't you?" I told her that I wasn't going to be able to always take care of these things for her and I needed her to handle this. "Mom, can't you just write a note?" I told her that I needed her to talk to her teacher and tell her that we talked about her not sitting next to B- at lunch for a while. B- admitted the error of her ways. K- forgave. Still, the punishment stung enough to not want to repeat.
I told my coworker that I was so glad that I wasn't the one to pick K- up at school today. I had to rant about this for a while to a reasonable mom to process it.
I'm sad for K-. Did the punishment kill her? No. She is a law abiding citizen at school. If she is at school and the rule would be to walk on her tip toes with a book on her head, she would do it with no questions asked. She is a people pleaser. She hates to make mistakes. The punishment definitely confirmed that she wants to continue to be a good kid.
"K-, did you cry?"
"I tried not to."
I hugged her tight when she got home.
Smiles in my day:
- That K- talked to us about what happened. She also fessed up that she had been sent to the detention table once last year for talking at lunch. I stressed how important it is for her to tell us. "But mom, I didn't want to get in trouble." (Trouble at school = trouble at home.) Still, she came to us this time and did talk to us. I'm trying to keep an open line of communication. Obviously, it isn't a perfect line, but we're working on it bit by bit.
- The head lice issue of yesterday isn't an issue. All has been attended to. The teacher thanked me for asking K- not to discuss it. The child that had told K- had apparently told many children and the teacher had to talk with her about it.
Have a great day!