Tales from the Trenches

I've decided to do Potpourri Week here on Tales. I have fantastic little snippets of things to share. I thank you in advance for allowing me to vent my holiday season frustrations. And yes, believe it or not, I do love my job.

1. Just because we offer free gift wrap doesn't mean that you should select 30- $1.00 items and want them wrapped. Of course, we still do them, but do you know that we are making no money at that point? Oh, and please don't complain about the wait.

2. Since we're on gift wrap, it is free. Please don't request that it be re-wrapped like "the package that was wrapped at the end of the counter." We don't find that even slightly amusing.

3. If you saw an item while you were window shopping and we no longer have it, please understand that it is the Christmas season, we have limited stock and are most likely unable to get you another one prior to the holiday no matter that it was "the perfect gift for - - - ."

4. We are a converted house. We have a one-seater bathroom. Please, if you must have an extended stay in the restroom, feel free to use the can of spray provided. Leaving the fan on and the door CLOSED is special, too. Um, you know what you needed to tend to in there. If it fails to enter your nose, know that it might hit someone else's. Take preventative measures for us all. Please don't leave the door wide open into the middle of the retail establishment at the busy holiday season for all of us to enjoy your odor.

5. I'm not stalking you when I yell hello when you come in the door. I'm just trying to be friendly and let y'all know that I care that you are there. When I tell you goodbye or to have a nice night, please throw me a bone. Don't treat me as the stomach flu.

6. The cell phone. Yes, um, feel free to have that overly loud conversation out in our courtyard on the porch or in just a few minutes. If you need to be inside because it is hideously cold in Ohio, please feel free to keep the volume down to a minimum.

7. Out in the retail world, we can all hold the door for each other. I promise, really, it's okay. Oh, and especially for those with strollers. I'm out of that stage, but I particularly loved (and still do) those folks who skinny in the door with barely enough room for themselves so that they don't have to take the extra second to help out a fellow human. My favorite was the time that I was at Kohl's, was slinging K- into the doors while in her stroller and I had a fellow wait for me to hold the door open for him. Both doors, actually. Could he help me? Um, no. BTW, I did hold both doors open for him and allowed him to pass.

8. It doesn't matter what side of the counter that we're all on, please remember YOUR PLEASES AND THANK YOU'S! Service folk are being run extra thin this year with cuts in seasonal staffing and whatnot. A please or thank you goes a long way. I once tried to order myself a button that said "Please" from one of our artists. I wondered how many people would ask me why I was wearing it. I think that my bosses purposely did not order it for me.

9. If you are running on a tight schedule and "should have been out of the store" 15 minutes prior to the time you got to the counter because you found lots of cool stuff to buy, please don't huff at the staff for the time that it takes to process your order. We're going as fast as we can. I promise.

Remember that we're all out there running ourselves ragged. Be nice to each other. Just like the following folks were kind to me.

Last year during the Black Friday Madness, I was out shopping. We were in need of some very specific sale items, I was armed with my Discover Card and the cell phone. Hubs knew my route. He would check in from time to time with me. I was at my second Target and the line was wrapping around the interior of the store. I had a middle aged gentleman in front of me and an early 20's gentleman behind me. The middle aged gentleman's wife called to tell him that the jewelry register had opened and that he needed to hoof it over there, as there was no line. He gathered me up, brought early 20's guy with us and they sandwiched me in between them. In all the craziness, they both made sure that I was able to check out and the 20's guy even made sure that I made it to my car safely. How wonderful!

Not a shopping story, but a crowded park festival story for this one. We were at our local park district's Fall Festival and K- was in need of the potty. The upright boxes were all full and I thought that maybe we could skate in and use the public facility in the building. Perhaps the others would forget about it! Um, no. So there we were standing in line. Just as we were the second to the next to go up, K- was dancing. "Oh, Mommy. Are we next? I really have to go potty." Do you know what? The lady in front of us let her go first. The same thing happened at another park function for a different park district about 45 minutes from here. Hubs was working the event and we had gone to visit him. K- announced that she was in need of a facility. We were left standing behind someone again, only this time it was a non-flusher. Ugh. I'm standing there waiting and so is the lady in front of us. The lady who was obviously working the function (she was in costume) was trying to carry on conversation with K-, who was rolling around on the ground announcing that she "Has to poo*pst really badly, Mommy." When it became available, the lady let us go ahead. I warned that it might take sometime, but she said to go. By the time K- was done, the lady had gone. K- wanted to thank her for her kindness. 'Mommy, I couldn't talk to her earlier because I just had to poo*pst so bad that I couldn't even talk!"

The sample lady at the grocery knows K-. Whenever she sees K- around, she always tracks her down and gives her an extra big sample. She's run through the aisles to give her extra yogurt, 1/2 of a toasty cheese sandwich, pie, cookies and you name it. K- always looks for her when we are there!

A small sampling of good stories I have. So see I do have good public stories, too! Any stories that you would like to share?