Saturday, May 15, 2010

We are a Plan A and not a band aid.

I read this post after being directed there from a post at We Are THAT Family. My comment on We Are THAT Family was:

I actually completely disagree with adoption being a band aid. I am an adoptive mom to a domestically adopted child that was born to a drug addicted, homeless prostitute. While my child was a product of sin, I believe that she was fully intended to live with us. For us, God had us take our faith to places I didn't think. We placed our trust, our prayers, our faith into a crack addicted basket. We had to trust (a county adoption, so we knew that our child would be removed from the mother) and know that God had it all laid out for us.

I am not a band aid. I am a mother. I am caring for the child that God intended for us to have. He knew that my parts were broken. Through me, family members benefited from the genetic testing that I had done and they were able to have babies. I was not. We are all alive, though. It is through adoption that my husband and I have a wonderful testimony to share with others on how God has worked in our lives and in the life of K-.

I can't help but to know that we were and still are His plan A.
May 13, 2010 5:37 PM

Kristen responded saying that she had hoped that she didn't offend. I wouldn't say that she offended, I just strongly disagree. That's okay. Opinions are perfectly fine. I don't expect for people to agree with me all the time, either.

Hubs and I believed that we made a choice for adoption, but I really think that adoption chose us. It was a part of us from the very. first. night. we dated. Period. I don't quite know how we got onto the subject, but we did. Neither one of us were up for shopping. I had dated a few people-- pure and utter duds-- and Hubs hadn't dated at all. We were both shopping for marriage material, not dating around. Neither one of us were created for that. We had very involved, very specific conversations from the beginning, talking of our hopes and dreams.

Adoption is not for everyone. It's just not. There are folks out there that have commented to me about "raising someone else's child." Well, if you look at it that way, perhaps adoption isn't for you. It's not a horrible thing to say. It's all good. I know I wouldn't be mad at you. Just like Kristen. She's on the fence about adoption. It was probably cleansing for her to get that out there. For her, she sees that sponsoring a multitude of children would make a bigger impact than adopting one. For her, it is a band aid. That's cool.

To the defense of Kristen and the original blogger (Mom of the Tongginator), I get what they are trying to say. We live in a fallen world. Kids being without families is a result of that. I get that. Our child was a product of sin. Her birth status is not pretty on paper. It did not make her a highly desirable child to adopt. Because of her birth status-- the sin that conceived and further housed her for 9 months in a haze of crack-- the State of Ohio considers K- to be a "special needs child."

I can't help but to know that God kept K- safe from the circumstances that she was housed in. He chose her birth mother to carry her physically for us. He kept her safely wrapped in his arms the whole time.

I am your Creator. You were in my care even before you were born. Isaiah 44:2a (CEV)

From The Purpose Driven Life by Rick Warren:

You are not an accident. Your birth was no mistake or mishap, and your life was no fluke of nature. Your parents may not have planned you, but God did. He was not at all surprised by your birth. In fact, He expected it.

Long before you were conceived by your parents, you were conceived in the mind of God. He thought of you first. It is not fate, nor chance, nor luck, nor coincidence that you are breathing at this very moment. You are alive because God wanted to create you!

God prescribed every single detail of your body. He deliberately chose your race, the color of your skin, your hair and every other feature. He custom-made your body just the way he wanted it. He also determined the natural talents you would possess and the uniqueness of your personality. The Bible says, "You know me inside and out, you know every bone in my body; You know exactly how I was made, bit by bit, how I was sculpted from nothing into something."

Most amazing, God decided how you would be born.

Regardless of the circumstances of your birth or who your parents are, God had a plan in creating you. It doesn't matter whether your parents were good, bad, or indifferent. God knew that those two individuals possessed exactly the right genetic makeup to create the custom "you" he had in mind. They had the DNA God wanted to make you.



Jai said...

Beautifully stated!!!! Your child IS indeed blessed by the gift that God gave - - loving, committed parents who WILL speak their minds. :)

Michelle said...

I do agree that adoption is not for everyone and that's fine, but to consider it a band aid? Its ok to have differing opinions, but my goodness...really? a band aid? That's just a bit much; I would say the majority of people that adopt are like you - they aren't band aids, they are that child's parent. I think you were very diplomatic in your response. Very well said.