Friday, April 9, 2010

Unlike bottles, there is no cash deposit upon return.

A pet peeve of mine. Folks, the kids aren't store merchandise. ARRRRRGGGGGHHHH!

Previously, I've made my feelings clear at the bottom of this post. The child. Oh my heart.


Rach said...

I just read that article and thought of you. :o(

Bailey's Leaf said...

I just don't understand why people think that they can return adopted children. Just because they weren't birthed from your body doesn't mean that they aren't yours! I was talking to K- tonight about adoption and when she presents her Time Line project things that she could say. "Remember how I told you that my tummy is broken, but God used someone else's tummy for us and put you at the hospital with the doctors and nurses for them to take care of you until the people could give us a call to let us know you were here?" "Uh, huh." "So, if someone asks you about being adopted, what are you going to tell them?" "I was born at the hospital and you came to get me." The Cliffs Notes version, but at least it doesn't end with, "And then you gave me back." We are a forever family. I just wished that everyone that adopted would consider themselves a forever family, as well.

Bailey's Leaf said...

Okay, Concrete Princess, I don't know where your comment went but I published it. I think that the system ate it.

We did foster-to-adopt with our daughter. We would have never considered giving her back. We were her only family, though.

I have friends that I've written about in previous posts. They adopted a son from Ethiopia. He has attachment issues and depression. Believe me when I tell you that he has been a struggle for the family. They would never dream to send him back though.

However, you bring up a good point. Though I admit that I am wholeheartedly against giving children back, not all of the information has been brought out, I'm sure. The news media tends to print what it sees fit and occasionally, sees certain details that need to be tossed by the wayside.

Maybe your comment is on delayed publish?

Argh! Thanks for giving your honest feedback! I always appreciate folks constructively putting their thoughts out there. Just don't think that I ditched your comment because I didn't agree.

Bailey's Leaf said...

Oh heck. I butchered the post name. Concretenprimroses not concrete princess. Argh.

I'm so sorry!

Melissa said...

I really do feel for this child. But I also feel for the adoptive (not parent). If this kid was truly psychopathic and threatening her families life then really what choice did she have?

You have to be able to sleep sometime and not worry that if you slept that you will never wake up.

And if all it turns out to be that she wasnt able to be a mom, and had unrealistic thoughts about it, maybe he is better off. Seriously, there are biological mom's who give up their kids and nobody sniffs at them (well..), he needs to be in a home where they can handle the major emotional damage that was done to him by his bio mom.

ChupieandJ'smama said...

What if you gave birth to a child with severe psychological problems? You can't give them back. Sometimes God gives you something because he thinks you are the best one to handle it. I'm sure I don't know the whole story, but this breaks my heart. If the boy wasn't completely damaged before, he is now.

concretenprimroses said...

Hi, I just came back to double check because I did think you hadn't published my comment because you didn't agree. Thanks for explaining what happened.
Hey you can call me concrete princess if you want!

My point, briefly, was that if bio moms are heros for giving up their kids then adoptive moms are not criminals for doing the same thing.

The woman who recently put the boy on a plane back to Russia: I think it would have been better if she had gotten help sooner, and relinquished him in a planned way. I worry that the Extreme stigma of failure causes these types of problems.

I remember listening to a woman talk at foster parent support group about how well things were going with her fd. My dd was being a total monster, and I felt inadequate in comparison. But that girl ended up at my house at 5 pm on a Friday night when the foster family suddenly appeared at the agency and dropped her off with all her things. They couldn't admit that they couldn't handle her until it reached that point. If a person isn't able to parent they should relinquish the child to someone who is. Maybe they should pay $$ for the child's care, much like an absentee divorced parent. I don't know. I am sure that demonizing parents who can't handle their kids is ultimately not good for the child.

All the best to you and your family.