Saturday, February 28, 2009

Mommy is off duty.

Do you ever have those days where you feel like you've been dragged through the parental mill, then branded with a branding iron the sarcastic "Mother of the Year?" Oh, today would rank as one of those days.

It didn't start out that way. K- had the Lowe's Build and Grow Clinic, where she built a car and did a rockin' job. After, we had a little time to kill so we cruised by the in-grocery bank and picked some cookies up to share with our friends after swimming lessons. Swimming lessons went well. Well, except for my daughter's x-ray vision that can see me plunking a mint into my mouth from 30 feet away. In true only-child fashion, she was afraid that she was missing something and kept coming back wanting one.

After swimming lessons, we cruised by Marshall's. I got her Teva sandals there last year at about this time and was hoping to score more. While Marshall's was packed with folks stimulating the economy, we left empty handed. I decided to cruise past the craft store to look for some beads for little girl bracelets that I sell at the gallery. I decided to skip the turn lanes and go straight ahead. That gave me a big fat circle to drive in and by the time I reached our destination, K- was asleep. Fast asleep. I picked her almost 50 pound self out of the car seat and carried her to the store. I put her down on the sidewalk to walk and she announced that her legs were broken and that she couldn't possibly walk. After a few moments of encouraging words, I decided to tell her that I was leaving her and going in. Of course, I stood in the foyer to watch. She came up and once she reached the foyer of the store, she plunked down and wouldn't get up. She did collapsified legs and flopped like a rag doll when I tried to get her up. She cried. She screamed. People looked. Oh, it was grand. So, I abandoned my mission and decided to pick her up and carry her back to the car. I got her half way there, put her down to walk and she did the tug-and-pull all the way. I had to force her into her car seat.

When we got home, I announced that she needed a time out. She jumped, screamed, ran and did all the things that you see on Super Nanny. I re-directed her. I ignored her and she finally completed her time out.

She was disrespectful once again. She earned herself another time out. This one was the battle of the wills. She fought me on that time out for over an hour. I finally went downstairs and worked on some laundry. It was quiet when I returned upstairs. She was sitting in her time out spot. She didn't get up until I told her to.

I'm worn.

K- is a good kid. I know that she is, but I tell her that I love her, but not her behavior. Today when she told me that I was a bad mommy, it stabbed me in the heart. It's the first time that she has ever told me that.

I realize that she is in a growth spurt. Whenever she is in the throes of one, she is very hungry, very tired and very mouthy. I love that she grows but I hate emotional effects of it.

Hubs got home, told me that she gets upset, I get upset and that she feeds on that. While I know that can be true, I also know that I don't need to hear it when my day has been so bad.

Both K- and I suffer from being very stubborn. Stubbornness is an admirable trait when it comes to persistence in a positive way. Stubborn by way of flat out bullheadedness is not such a wonderful trait to have.

We suffer from both sides of stubborn.

So I sit here this evening feeling like a complete wet rag. Hubs is on duty and doing things that are "only boring" with K-. She has no TV this week. She's not permitted to play video games with Daddy tonight, which irked Daddy since that is what he wanted to do. Too bad. They did get her play area in the basement tidied back up. Right now, she is practicing her numbers. Then, they'll be working on her "Little T Book" for school.

She's in there giggling with daddy. It's good to hear. At least she didn't wear out both parents today.

Edited to add: When we readied her for bed this evening, I crawled in with her to talk about the day. She took my face into her little kid hands, stroked my cheeks and told me that she was sorry. I told her that I was sorry, too. She said yucky things and I wasn't happy with her, either. I think that today's chapter has ended. Onward to tomorrow . . .


Natalie said...

You are not alone. Larissa and I have days just like that. I totally agree with hubs, they do feed off of our attitude. But sometimes it is so hard!!!! Never fear you are a great mommy and K obviously loves you very much!

Michelle said...

oh man, what a day! I hate the "flop and drop" that kids can pull when you want them to go somewhere; talk about asserting their independence to NOT do what you want them to do! you can't force a child to walk LOL I'm glad the day ended with snuggles in bed and apologies all around; makes up for it in the end.

Rach said...

Oh, goodness, that could have been one of my days with Han. Two stubborn heads butting with no way out.

Lil's headed down the same path and you know, I'm just not looking forward to it.

Hang in there. Those are such AWFUL, HARD days.


Anonymous said...

Hey thanks for the informative post, Swimming classes should be something that a person takes up when young. Well I guess an adult can also take up swimming lessons. Never too young to try!