I came into the kitchen to do some dishes and I saw a flock of people canvasing the neighborhood.
Can I tell you how much I hate that? I hate it so much that I put a sign on my front door that says, "No solicitors, please." Because the Jehovah's Witnesses didn't think that the front door sign applied to them, they decided then to start going to the side door. I wanted to make certain that it was clear that they were included in the "No solicitors, please," that I posted one to the side door.
They are very unsuccessfully canvasing the area and I saw the one saw me in my kitchen window. She made a beeline up the driveway. I thought that certainly she saw both signs. She did. She saw the front door sign and went to the side door.
She caught me in a bit of a mood. I opened the door a few inches and said, "No solicitors," and proceeded to close the door. I did see the look on her face. She was in shock. Well, I could see her face just on the other side of the No Solicitors, please sign.
She made her way down the driveway. I'm thinking that she may not stop again.
The drop offs come through our neighborhood on a quarterly basis. This past spring/summer, I was outside and again, there was a man knocking on doors. He saw me, made a beeline down my driveway and I said nothing. I walked to the backyard. I closed the gate and latched it. He picked up on the hint.
I was out gardening and on the phone. Again, I had another woman not care to uphold my wishes. She interrupted the phone conversation because she wanted to convert me to her religion. I kept the person on the phone, spoke with her a moment and said I wasn't interested. She was strong in trying to give a defense for her religion. I'm not telling her what way to believe. I wasn't attacking. I just didn't want her on my property. She finally left.
So for those who are solicitors coming to my door:
1. Jesus is our man. We have religion covered.
2. We have the cookies. We don't need more. If we do, we have a dealer.
3. We like our phone service.
4. We don't need your cable.
5. We don't want your chemicals on our yard, even if you insist that we're "the only ones in the neighborhood without" because, well, that's a flat lie. Organic is the new green, after all.
6. Our child may not come to your house for Backyard Bible Club. We don't know you.
7. We have a child in school and have fundraisers. I'm not being cheap, but understand that we have to buy from her first even if you don't agree. (I had a child argue with me.)
Stop coming to my door. If I know you, come on in. If I don't, please stay on the sidewalk.