Friday, April 27, 2012

Adoptive family ramblings.

K- has always known that she was adopted.  It has been built into her life just as knowing that out there in heaven, she has an older sister (Bailey) waiting for her.  I'll add that she was rather bummed to find out that she wasn't the first born.  I was shocked and kind of giggled at her reaction to birth order.  It went something to the effect of, "You mean I WASN'T THE FIRST ONE?!"  :giggle:  I mean, we refer to her as the only-but-not child.  Apparently, K- always considered herself as "the first born" in our house, though in reality, she is firmly planted as a middle child on her somewhat tangled family tree.

K- will on a very rare occasion blurt something adoptive out.  Her latest is, "But I don't even know who carried me in their stomach."  Still wanting to be not all-inclusive of information regarding drugs, bad choices in life, jail and so forth, I told her, "We have never met her."  "Oh."  "But, I can tell you that you've been with us since you were a day and a half old.  Sometimes God knows when someone has broken parts like I do.  God knows what parents he wants to raise a baby, but sometimes he uses two people to get that job done." 

Thank you, Purpose Driven Life for help with that one.

Truthfully, that is the case.  I dotted my "i's," crossed my "t's" and did absolutely everything that I was supposed to.  We planned for Bailey.  She, like K-, was a very wanted child.  No stone was left unturned, yet it wasn't meant to be.  Still, through Holly and Joe, we were given an opportunity to have a child and to have an extended family for that child.

This is going places I didn't expect.

Holly and Joe, as I may have mentioned before, worked with me at a previous sister art galleries.  We all went to the great Christmas parties BC (before children) and I knew their struggle with infertility.  They walked the road to adoption, have an open adoption with R-'s mom and added L- and D- (K-'s sibs) to their family.  When they read the e-mail about our loss, they e-mailed us telling us that they would be thrilled to have Adoption 101 with us one night.  (We had mentioned our desire to adopt from the days of dating, so this wasn't offensive.)  They knew that their children's birth mother was due to issue another and their house was full.  They hooked us up with their home finder, we went to meetings, were finger printed, were accepted into the wild world of county foster-to-adopt and away we went.  Holly and Joe were there shortly after K- was placed in our home.  Holly was there for court proceedings.  Both supported us while we were trying to adopt one of their children's siblings.  I tell you, Hubs and I can't ever truly express our appreciation to Holly and Joe for putting us on the right path to family. 

Isn't it weird how God works?  I mean, we were all schlepping American Craft in old 1820's buildings that had wolf spiders, wood spiders and an infestation of termites and carpenter ants!  We spent our first years together wrapped in the scent of incense (yes, I had to walk away a moment, track some down and light it), deadheading the geraniums out front and loving being altogether while being surrounded by the beauty of handcrafted works and the local national park.  Holly wanted some major renovations done to their home, but they couldn't afford it.  She had told me that she was praying for a tornado.

Wouldn't you know, she got one.

I'll never forget her coming in, Farmer John overall denim shorts on and her announcing, "My house got hit by a tornado."  I think that my mouth dropped and I told her that she had been praying for one.  Now, tornadoes aren't a regular occurrence around here, but they are rare enough to stand up and take notice.  I mean, how is that for a direct line to God?  "God, please send me a tornado to my house IN THE VALLEY."  By golly, He did.  In the end, with lots of hub-bub and crub that Holly and Joe clearly didn't sign up for (dishonest contractor), it all got taken care of.  Still, in my tangentiality (is that even a word?) I say, God brought us all together to be all together. 

K- and I have talked more about adoption this week.  There was an ad on TV from the county children services that we got her from and I watched it with her.  A mom had been adopted, was thankful for her mom and was now adopting a county baby.  It was good for her to see a circle of adoption.  Still, we have more meaty details to eventually share with her.  For now, we are taking one small bite at a time.

Wednesday, April 25, 2012

Weirdness and grossness and generalized rambling.

Poor Rachael.  She was getting play-by-play texts of yesterday. 

1.  The woman with the child that needed to use the facility.  Now, I understand that little boys have different bits with which to do their thing.  However, I couldn't help but to NOT hear a flushing toilet or running water whatsoever.  When they cleared the area far enough, I went to check the status of the bathroom.  Ah yes.  Little man had peed ALL OVER the toilet seat, had NOT flushed and had also not washed the very hands that was handling all that action.  I closed the door, wiped everything up (because I get paid to be a bathroom attendant, of course), washed my hands thoroughly and went on with my day.

2.  Fashion choices that people make might seemingly be impressive, but when rocking them with a bleach blonde mullet and Sarah Palin glasses, it nullifies the whole thing. 

3.  I understand that interior fermentation happens to us all, but I swear that the air was beginning to turn green yesterday.  Wow.  When people need to let off a bit of steam, so to speak, outside is your best bet.  Yikes.

4.  Please discontinue any use of the word "cute."  K-'s teacher is teaching them that they need to use "more creative words" and K- will correct you when she thinks that you have used an overused descriptive word.  Perhaps I should have her be gallery police for a while. 

Onward to other things.  When I called K- for the after school check-in yesterday she said, "Mom, I have to tell you the BEST news!  I got to be a lunch monitor today for Mrs. S-'s class.  I had to stand to eat, but that was okay.  E- helped me, but I had her follow in the back to make sure that no one talked.  I told her that she could tap them on the shoulder and tell them to be quiet please.  When we dropped the kids off, Mrs. S- let us pick out a treat!"  Now, sweet child of mine, has looked forward to the opportunity of becoming a lunch monitor since she was in Kindergarten and had a lunch monitor.  Apparently the principal chose her and E- because the older kids are busy doing the state mandated ridiculous testing of the OAA.  She was so excited!

My child was running a touch behind because she was all wrapped up in reading a book.  I realize it is weird to list that as a positive thing, but the kid was so engrossed in her book.  I kind of think that is fabulous, when you get past the fact that we had to dash through the neighbor's flower bed and back down another man's driveway to get to the bus stop. 

K-'s teacher is retiring this year.  I talked to the art teacher who is being kind enough to incorporate my end of the year idea into a workable art project for the kids to do in class.  I have cut 5" x 5" squares of white canvas for the children to decorate.   Then, I'm going to smile real nice like at my friend Laurie to see if she would be willing to sew the squares into some type of foldable wall hanging/blanket/keepsake.  She's a tough cookie and I'm thinking that whatever it is that I do will be appreciated, but I question whether it will be kept.  Asking for a monetary donation from the children is a bit sticky since they just asked for a $3.00 end of the year donation for activities.  Many of our families just don't have it, so I wanted each child to be involved, but to also not ask for funding.  I also knew that to send the squares home would likely result in 1. Mrs. B- finding out and 2. many wouldn't return anyhow. 

So, there is my rambiliciousness for now.  Hope that you have a grand day!

Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Tales from the Trenches: Spring sports season, Earth Day and snow.

Last week, which was the first week of soccer, it was warm.  It was in the low 80's, I had K- dressed up in minimal clothing for the game (short socks, camisole under jersey), sprayed her with sunscreen, packed water and snacks in the cooler and off we went for me to score a sunburn.  (Oops.)  This week, I packed the child with as many clothes as I could get on her (think of Randy in A Christmas Story) and I had on my deep winter walking jacket, wool/fleece & leather gloves, a winter hat, wrapped in a wool blanket and I was STILL cold.  The wind, the drizzle and the cold were biting. 

On the positive end of things, K- scored a goal last week and helped with a goal assist this week.  Despite weather (and some major flak for making her wear an emergency poncho under the jersey), she pulled it out and made it happen.

She just finished up swimming this past weekend.  I've been able to send her out with slightly damp hair other weeks, but this week I needed to make it bone dry.  Brrrrr.

On a positive note, K- passed her swimming exam and was bumped up to the next level.  This probably doesn't seem like a big deal, but it usually takes her 2 seasons to pass to the next level.  She only started Level 3 this February.  I think that her success was partially due to the smaller class.  K-
s class was smaller to begin with.  It had 8 kids, but then dwindled down to 4.  It was nearly, but not quite, private lessons.  For $50.00 for 8 lessons, that just can't be beat!

Unsports related, after swimming, we cruised out to see Hubs and the Earth Day celebration at the park.  It was cold and rainy.  We were helping to pack up and I sent K- off to make a kite.  I got up there, was watching what she was doing and one woman in the tent lit up a cigarette.  K- looked at me and I was gently pulling her back.  "Oh Ma'am, she can finish."  "Oh, she's okay."  "No, she can finish, it's alright."  "Ma'am, I'm sorry, but my daughter is very allergic to smoke."  She turned around, saw her mom with a cigarette and yelled for her to put it out.  I felt bad, but my child's health was far too important.  When we went to leave, the lady came to apologize.  She was in tears.  "Ma'am, I'm so glad that you said something."  I told her that I didn't want her to worry about it, but I've spent far too much time in the doctor's office with K- not to remove her from that somehow.  Turns out that she has allergies (actual anaphyllaxis) from perfumes.  She said that she felt so dumb to not even think.  To her credit (and I told her this), it was the end of the day, it was cold and rainy and it probably was just habit.  For whatever it is worth, I don't think she'll do that again. 

Since we had a threat of 2" of soggy, heavy snow, I went and covered annual dianthus, mums and my blooming soapwort with heavy pots.  While we didn't get the snow, 35 minutes east of here had a Winter Storm Warning yesterday.  Crazy!  I'll have to go pull my pots this morning, before I cook my little plants.

Now if you'll excuse me, I must go put on my coat and untied shoes to do dances with pots.  Have a lovely day!