K- has always known that she was adopted. It has been built into her life just as knowing that out there in heaven, she has an older sister (Bailey) waiting for her. I'll add that she was rather bummed to find out that she wasn't the first born. I was shocked and kind of giggled at her reaction to birth order. It went something to the effect of, "You mean I WASN'T THE FIRST ONE?!" :giggle: I mean, we refer to her as the only-but-not child. Apparently, K- always considered herself as "the first born" in our house, though in reality, she is firmly planted as a middle child on her somewhat tangled family tree.
K- will on a very rare occasion blurt something adoptive out. Her latest is, "But I don't even know who carried me in their stomach." Still wanting to be not all-inclusive of information regarding drugs, bad choices in life, jail and so forth, I told her, "We have never met her." "Oh." "But, I can tell you that you've been with us since you were a day and a half old. Sometimes God knows when someone has broken parts like I do. God knows what parents he wants to raise a baby, but sometimes he uses two people to get that job done."
Thank you, Purpose Driven Life for help with that one.
Truthfully, that is the case. I dotted my "i's," crossed my "t's" and did absolutely everything that I was supposed to. We planned for Bailey. She, like K-, was a very wanted child. No stone was left unturned, yet it wasn't meant to be. Still, through Holly and Joe, we were given an opportunity to have a child and to have an extended family for that child.
This is going places I didn't expect.
Holly and Joe, as I may have mentioned before, worked with me at a previous sister art galleries. We all went to the great Christmas parties BC (before children) and I knew their struggle with infertility. They walked the road to adoption, have an open adoption with R-'s mom and added L- and D- (K-'s sibs) to their family. When they read the e-mail about our loss, they e-mailed us telling us that they would be thrilled to have Adoption 101 with us one night. (We had mentioned our desire to adopt from the days of dating, so this wasn't offensive.) They knew that their children's birth mother was due to issue another and their house was full. They hooked us up with their home finder, we went to meetings, were finger printed, were accepted into the wild world of county foster-to-adopt and away we went. Holly and Joe were there shortly after K- was placed in our home. Holly was there for court proceedings. Both supported us while we were trying to adopt one of their children's siblings. I tell you, Hubs and I can't ever truly express our appreciation to Holly and Joe for putting us on the right path to family.
Isn't it weird how God works? I mean, we were all schlepping American Craft in old 1820's buildings that had wolf spiders, wood spiders and an infestation of termites and carpenter ants! We spent our first years together wrapped in the scent of incense (yes, I had to walk away a moment, track some down and light it), deadheading the geraniums out front and loving being altogether while being surrounded by the beauty of handcrafted works and the local national park. Holly wanted some major renovations done to their home, but they couldn't afford it. She had told me that she was praying for a tornado.
Wouldn't you know, she got one.
I'll never forget her coming in, Farmer John overall denim shorts on and her announcing, "My house got hit by a tornado." I think that my mouth dropped and I told her that she had been praying for one. Now, tornadoes aren't a regular occurrence around here, but they are rare enough to stand up and take notice. I mean, how is that for a direct line to God? "God, please send me a tornado to my house IN THE VALLEY." By golly, He did. In the end, with lots of hub-bub and crub that Holly and Joe clearly didn't sign up for (dishonest contractor), it all got taken care of. Still, in my tangentiality (is that even a word?) I say, God brought us all together to be all together.
K- and I have talked more about adoption this week. There was an ad on TV from the county children services that we got her from and I watched it with her. A mom had been adopted, was thankful for her mom and was now adopting a county baby. It was good for her to see a circle of adoption. Still, we have more meaty details to eventually share with her. For now, we are taking one small bite at a time.