Tuesday, January 3, 2012

Tales from the Trenches: As seen on TV goodies.

Let's first consider the Forever Lazy.
Have people considered that they are:
1.  Encouraging yet more people to go out into public with their pajamas on?  I mean, how hard is it to just wear a pair of pants AND! shoes while you are out?
2.  Wear them to a tail gating party?  Um, yep.  People sure will be talking then.
3.  You have little trap doors so that you can do your business?  Nice . . .
4.  The Huffington Post made me laugh. 
5.  Do the people who are wearing them realize that they look like Booh Bah?
6.  Fleece is plastic.  Correct me if I'm wrong, and I may be, but I don't believe that fleece breathes.
7.  Don't forget that you get a free pair of fleece footies to go with AKA HOSPITAL SOCKS!  Sounds like a great deal!  :S

Let's move on, shall we?  Another favorite is the Hot Booties.  What are Hot Booties?  They are linseed filled slippers that you heat in the microwave.  Let's truly think about this a minute.  You take these things, heat them in the microwave, wear them on your feet to make them warm (even suggesting you sleep in them), then after you've gotten foot funk all over them because your feet sweated to the high heaven, go ahead, put them back into their little baggie and microwave them again!  I realize that they are lavender scented, but truly, all I can think of is that your microwave is gonna be stinkin' of some major foot odor.  Ewwww!

We have the Ahh Bra.  They claim that all sorts of sizes of women can wear these.  I have a friend who wears a DD and I tease her that she is the only person that I know that could have cleavage in a turtleneck.  The Ahh Bra would not work for Kim.  I just don't see it happening. 

What about the My BFF- My Best Fish Friend.  Go ahead.  Read all you want and I'll sum it up with one product name-- Sea Monkeys.  Sea Monkeys cost a lot less, too.

One of my co-workers said that her mom bought her the Salon Express nail decorating kit last year.  She said that the nail polish dried before she could get it on her nails.  Could you imagine trying to stamp a French manicure onto your nails?  I mean, you are doing it rather blindly so good luck getting it to line up.

There is also the Insta-Hang.  I have many things hung in my house on push pins.  The "angled pen design" doesn't convince me that it will hold "the big stuff."  Could you imagine a big, fat mirror on the wall with glorified push pins?  Yes, I can't either.  I'm display staff at an art gallery and can't imagine using this thing effectively with the stuff I have to hang.  Give me my drill, please.

Shoot!  I almost forgot about Pajama Jeans!  They "fit every figure perfectly!"  Really?  They hug your every bit and I don't suspect that they are hiding anything.  They look "great with sandals or sneakers!  You'll wear them everyday!"  They are also a fashion sensation.  Well, thank God for that.

The Wuggle Pets are on deck at our house to do.  My mother bought them for K- and an additional crafting kit.  I'll have to report back on our success.  I didn't even know that they were a "As Seen On TV offer."  I think that she bought them at CVS, where she scores a host of other fine products.

Santa brought K- the Bedazzler.  (You can find them at Michael's.)  The child loves herself some rhinestones.  How could Santa go wrong with that?

The Slumber Pillow made me giggle.  "Soft fur on your head area, where you are going to lay."  Um, I'm going to lay somewhere else?  You can curl up with a good book or go onto the plane with a square stuck to your hand.  Now, that's a good look!  My husband's response would be, "Now that's the woman I married!"

Sift and Toss is the one that makes Hubs shake his head.  He is the litter scooper in our house and I know as well as he does that all litter doesn't come out into giant hunks like that and this would miss about 1/2 of what it is supposed to take away.

K- wants the Touch and Brush.  She thinks that it would be a great thing to own.  It's "easy and fun for the entire family."  Fun?  Well, thank goodness that someone made toothpaste dispensing fun!

Can I tell you how much the thought of the Potty Patch completely grosses me out?  "At the end of the day, just pour out the liquid."  Ewwwwww!

A French Toast Stick Maker?  Can't people just make it in a pan and use a knife?

I do have the Ronco Food Dehydrator.  I bought it when I still lived at home.  You know what?  It works like a dream.

My brother laid the Bug Zapper down on my hand.  It hurt and it left a huge welt on my knuckle.  Don't use it on humans. 

I have Aqua Globes.  They work well, when you don't stab them in too hard and snap the stem off.

What about you?  I haven't done an As Seen on TV bit for a while.  I know that Rachael is a fan of the Sham-wow.  Anything else?

1 comment:

ChupieandJ'smama said...

I got nothing. I don't think I've ever bought "As Seen On TV" items. I did think about the water globes though. And I pondered that velcro stuff that you can hem pants with. All my pants are too long, I don't sew, and tailoring can get expensive. Never pulled the trigger though.
My ILS bought me a Snuggy for Christmas one year. It was so long that I tripped over it when I got up and hurt myself. It was bright pink. I gave it to Goodwill.
That Lazy thing is the most absurd thing I've seen in, well, forever. Trap Door? Really? How gross is that?
I didn't think of BooBah. I thought it sort of looked like a neon Gumby.