Friday, June 11, 2010

You know that you've watched too much Storm Chasers when . . .

. . . You think that you see a mobile mesonet on the highway, but realize that can't be it because it is missing an anenometer.

. . . Your husband thinks he saw a wall cloud.

. . . Your daughter watches for rotation in the clouds above.

. . . You take your co-workers out to the parking lot for a meteorologic lesson.

. . . You take photos of clouds to illustrate "lift in the atmosphere."

. . . Your husband teases that a fluffy contrail is just really a funnel roping out.

. . . You watch the TV and iMapWeather when storms are going on. You successfully keep track of both.

. . . Your family phones you to find out "what's going on." You are able to tell them from their reported location which direction to go, what storms are where and no-- you don't want to keep going straight.

. . . You can tell your brother that hell is not breaking loose. He just punched the core and he really wants to drive the opposite direction, because there is a funnel ahead of him.

. . . You've kept hail in a Ziploc container in your freezer.

. . . Your husband is so excited that Reed Timmer is in Ohio that he wants to hunt him down just to say "hey."

. . . is on your blog roll.

. . . You would rather meet Sean Casey, because you believe that Reed Timmer, though talented, is quite a spaz. Besides, you appreciate that he made the original TIV, unlike "the red shoe."

. . . You know what Vortex 2 is and you keep up with it. In fact, it is on the blog roll, too.

Smiles in my day:
- Library group started today. We met up with so many friends!
- Laundry. Washed, dried, folded and mostly put away.
- K- working on "self-control" and beginning to calm now that school is out. I think that the kids started to check out about a month before school was out. I think that she was feeding on the craziness. We're looking to restore partial TV watching on Wednesday. That is, if she is capable of continuing to show self-control.
- K- loves LOVES! the Hooked on Spelling 1st Grade Super Work Book. (Yes, it is a Hooked on Phonics thing.) It is an out of print book that I picked up at a local discount store. She loves to sit down and do her homework. It is great for her to keep those skills up!
- We planted the last tomato and ground cherry. The tomato was a cherry tomato that K- planted at Lowe's in the planter box that she made back in May. The ground cherry was just a little runt of a guy that I didn't think would make it. Somehow, I found space for both. Oh, how we are going to be swimming in tomatoes!

Have a wonderful weekend!

Thursday, June 10, 2010

An assault to the nasal passages and other public pet peeves.

Perfume. A little? It goes a long way. If it is rancid, it goes way farther than it should have gone to begin with.

There was a customer that was in that was so dripping in perfume that we were having allergy issues. I knew that if I didn't continue to stifle the cough that was in my throat, that I would cough and cough until I threw up. Julia doesn't even have environmental allergies and she was feeling some effects. She said that her eyes were burning. That's not good.

We turned the supplementary air conditioner on and pointed the vent at the counter, so as to push the smell away from us. The perfume was so strong, that didn't even save us.

Y'all, she was a customer to linger. She wanted things wrapped. She was buying some necklaces from the counter, but she couldn't make a decision. Meanwhile, we were gasping for air. Anything fresh-like would do.

Do people not know that there are people who have asthma attacks from perfume too strong, or sometimes perfume in general?

STOP BATHING IN IT PEOPLE! One squirt. Into the air. Walk into it. Voila! Light! Airy! Do-able!

Oh, and to the man who decided that it was proper to re-tie the drawstring tie on his pants as he waited at the counter, DON'T DO THAT! WE DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT AND YOU SHOULD GO TO THE BATHROOM TO DEAL WITH SUCH A THING! Oh. my. word.

All right. We've had this discussion before, but I believe that it needs revisited. To the woman who dropped her boys off in the toy room-- it is not a place for babysitting. As you went to the store NEXT DOOR, your child with behavioral problems decided to help himself to toys at the TOP shelf and play with them. Is that a big deal? Probably not, only that the toys that he helped himself to were being absolutely beaten on and they were $50.00 and $100.00 each. Really. I'm not kidding. Then, your inability to make a decision only held the process off longer. Oh, don't worry. While you were busy not parenting your boys, I took the toy away. That was after the handcrafted wooden lid went flying part way across the toy room. Oh, he was insistent that he would continue to play with it. His brother suggested otherwise. He was the voice of reason. It isn't his job to watch your son. Your son needs you. His behavioral issues, though not his fault, need you to be near him rather than over in the next store. Please keep him and his very touchy, touchy hands with you at all times.

If you know that we don't have boxes and tell you that we don't have boxes and you claim to us to know this as a fact, then why do you continue to ask for boxes that we DON'T HAVE?! Just sayin'.

Don't pick the flowers. We aren't allowed to and you aren't either.

We have minimums to meet when we order things. More specifically, when we order something from an artist or a company, we have to purchase a minimum dollar amount with each person. We have to abide by their policy. I know that you would really love us to order that $1.25 pocket coin. That means that we have to come up with probably $300.00 - $500.00 worth of product just to get that one little coin for you. I'm sorry that we can't get it right now. We need to be mindful of the stock we have on hand and the cost that we have to incur to order that small item. Minimums are the pits. We agree. It is what it is, though. "But I've been waiting and I've been in at least 8 times." Here's an idea, put your money where your mouth is. Order an actual quantity of them (we're talking 10-20), so it makes it worth our while to get it. Those come in bags of 100. We don't order just by suggestion. Deposits talk. You'd be amazed at what we'll order if there is a deposit placed.

Okay, in general public and the gallery, please STOP! wearing shirts with your funky bra straps hanging out and if I see one more butt that comes in with PINK plastered to it, I'll scream. I love periwinkle. Haven't see that one come in yet. Good on you if you have a tail end to carry a word that long. Seriously though, I am so tired of the word stamped pants. I don't want to be looking at your butt. Believe me. When you come in with words the size of 500 point font stamped across your butt, we can't help but to see.

Speaking of seeing, if you could keep the lower undergarments completely under wraps, that would be fantastic. You see, I don't want to see the quantity of fabric involved in the coverage option that you have chosen for the day. Just as I wish that belts and slips would make a comeback, I would love for you to cover the backside so I can't see the fuchsia bits hanging out.

If you drop something, please check it to make certain that it isn't broken before you quickly shove it back onto the shelf. To the lady who dropped the glass nail files in front of me today, when you left, I did go back and inspect them. Thankfully, they were okay. It's all right. We all drop stuff. In fact, as I decorate for Christmas, do you know how many things take a header from the ceiling? Still, a "Gosh I'm so sorry. Let me check to see if this is broken." would have been sufficient. I promise not to be mad.

Men, put the seat down. It is a co-ed public bathroom. It is a one-seater. We ladies have to touch the seat to put it down after you've been in there. That's gross. Do I have to put a sticker on the underside of the seat reminding you? I had to do that to our employee dedicated bathroom upstairs. Yes, it worked.

When it is the end of the day and we're closing, we're happy to help you. We're happy to wrap your stuff for you. Please for the love of Pete and Pete's brother Pete MAKE A DECISION AND STOP ADDING THINGS TO YOUR ORDER WHEN YOU TELL US THAT YOU ARE DONE. It failed to be cute after the first three times.

Breath mints. Just know that we know when you've had onions. We can also tell when you have over-indulged.

When you've lost your keys, but finally find them at the bottom of your bag, that means that you need a smaller bag. It might save you a few more heart attacks in the future.

Stupidity as an act isn't attractive. This is to all the young women AND young men that have been in the last few days that believe that being outright ignorant for their "mate" makes them more fetching. Uh, no. Y'all are way more intelligent. We can tell. Don't act dumb. That kind of relationship never lasts. Eventually they will see that you actually have a brain. You should just show them that from beginning!

To the crabby lady who came in. Thank you for turning your frown upside down. I'm glad that we were able to come to the conclusion that your day was not being so fabulous to you and you left happy. Your irritation over the gift receipt was easily fixed and the co-worker meant no harm. In your absence, she made a judgement call. Thank you so much for being so nice on your way out.

So, what are your public retail pet peeves?

Smiles in my day:
- Eating fresh snap peas from the garden with K-. She's never had them fresh from the vine and she loved them! Thanks for sharing, Rachael!
- Using my Kohl's coupon for $10.00 off $10.00 and managing to get $56.00 worth of nightgowns for K- for $5.60. (2 nightgowns at $28.00 each.) Thank you Discover for the great coupon! Keep 'em coming!
- The new batch of Japanese erasers came in. Both K- and my niece, C-, were waiting for them. They had the bellies of their pigs full just waiting. We now have a green frog, a pink duck, a set of blue teeth, a bowling set and two baby sets (1 girl and 1 boy) to add to our already vast collection. They are so wonderful and fun!

Have a great day!

Monday, June 7, 2010

Garden Fair Week: Early summer edition, June 7-12

Welcome to the Garden Fair! So sorry that it started a day late. Blogger decided to have a bit of a break that ceased all publishing.

So, link up pictures of your garden, your friend's garden, the public garden, the botanical garden. Wherever you find beautiful flowers! The Linky is at the end of the post and will be up through Saturday at 11:59 PM. Allow the gardening fun to begin!

Come and take an early walk through my gardens. I'm a little behind on my weeding. Remember also that we are in zone 5, so we really can't get on the growing stick until at earliest May 15.

An onion that has gone to seed. It was a leftover onion from last year, but I think that their blooms are just beautiful. The planter from Mrs. H-. Such a gorgeous thank you gift. She didn't have to do that! I was happy to help! I wished that we had scratch and sniff monitors. The lavender is planted under my garden window and bedroom window. It smells wonderful. One of the three mystery tomatoes that I have. I accidentally flipped my flat of seedlings when I was trying to see if my heat mat was heating. (It was.) Since I had all of these gorgeous little seedlings all over the place, I decided to keep them and let the mystery live. We'll find out what type of tomatoes they are when they come on. They are either non-GMO Arkansas Travelers, Pearly Pinks or Sun Golds. Again with the tomato. I companion planted them with onions and basil. The peppers. The one nearest is the red pepper that I grew from seed. The further one is the Garden Fair pepper that K- brought home from school. You bring a plant home, grow it all summer long, then like the County Fair, you bring it back and earn ribbons and stuff. Teaches the kids to care for things. It isn't too bad! Look! We have baby green peppers coming on!
A pot of miscellaneous flowers. Well, and a freebie plant stake from work. These were all a little sparse-looking a few weeks ago. The roses. I have this climbing rose that blooms and has nice blooms for about a day. Still, it came with the house and keeps coming back. The parsley went to seed and I needed to bind it up a bit. It was attacking us when we got out of our cars. Since, Hubs has nearly impaled his arm on the tines, so I had to mark them with brightly colored cable ties. Very garden attractive, I tell you. The pot that was on the front porch prior to Mrs. H-'s gift. They are along with the Black Eyed Susans that are coming along nicely. (Never mind the weeds.) A Rose of Sharon and some Goose Necks. The Rose of Sharon was a transplant stick that was given to us about 4 years ago. Last year, we had one tiny little bloom. This year, it seems to have really taken off. We should call this "Hail-leluia!" We had a hail storm last week with about 20 minutes of non-stop shooter marble-pea sized hail. The milkweed wasn't impressed. Speaking of, it wants to bloom! See! The ants love it probably as much as the Monarchs do! The clematis that I purchased with the Mother's Day gift certificate from Hubs and K-. It is now happily climbing the vine arbor. Daisies from Irina. She's since moved to Montreal, but she worked with me for a few years at the gallery. It is because of Irina that I can speak very broken Russian. Midnight Sage on its way out. It was a thank you gift from a friend several years ago. We both share a love for purple. Ah, and tomato blossoms. The tomato by the steps appears to be a cherry variety. The Gerbera Daisy that Hubs and K- gave to me with my Mom's Day gift certificate. It is in a lovely adopted planter on the back porch. The parsley working on blooming. We're good with it blooming. We plant it and have it mostly as a host plant for caterpillars. Usually by mid-summer, it is loaded! The flowering lemon thyme. If you infuse apple juice with lemon thyme and pineapple sage, it makes one mean jelly! Delicious! Yellow yarrow. One of the original bed plants that we purchased when we first put the beds in next to the house. They used to be perennial beds, but the bed size wasn't large enough for the plants. We moved the perennials to the back and made the side beds one long herb garden. It's nice to be able to step out in November, snow on the ground, and still pull fresh parsley, sage and thyme for the Thanksgiving turkey. Lime Green Nicotiana. They were planted many, many years ago from seed that I purchased from Baker Creek Seeds. They come up every single year now. Soapwort. They have these delicate little purple baubles that come out from their middles. Beautiful! A perennial grown from seed in my garden window a few years ago. Peonies from my husbands Grandmother's plant. Aunt Debbie gave me a split when we first moved here. They grow big and gorgeous. Flowering, low-growing sedum. A very nice ground cover. Clover from my sister's house. I did purposely plant this last year. Butterflies find it very juicy. When I brought it home and planted it, it instantly died. I was bummed then, but delighted now when I found that it came back this year!
The miscellaneous planted pot that we have with K-'s picnic table under her swing set tower. Her grandma bought her the petunia and I dropped some verbena in for fun. Volunteer snapdragons. It has probably been 8 years since I've planted snapdragons and they come up in the same place in the driveway every single year. I've stopped fighting it and I enjoy them. Maiden pinks. Another perennial that I grew in the garden window. Blogger decided to go on the fritz and it was a good thing. Look at what I found bloomed when I got home! These are some Asiatic lilies that I purchase from Breck's probably 5 years ago. They had a coupon for $25.00 off $25.00 and since I have absolutely no pride about using a coupon, I ended only paying $1.05 for a bakers dozen of an assortment of Asiatics. White yarrow. This came from my friend's field. She has an organic chicken farm. This was before the chicken days, but the yarrow is so happy this year, that it seeded itself into a pot out back and is happily growing and blooming away.

We're excited to see what you are growing or see growing as you are out and about!

As a polite thing, please do not use photos featured in any of the links in the Garden Fair without express permission of the blog owner. Feel free to use my Garden Fair Week logo. Thanks!