Thursday, June 10, 2010

An assault to the nasal passages and other public pet peeves.

Perfume. A little? It goes a long way. If it is rancid, it goes way farther than it should have gone to begin with.

There was a customer that was in that was so dripping in perfume that we were having allergy issues. I knew that if I didn't continue to stifle the cough that was in my throat, that I would cough and cough until I threw up. Julia doesn't even have environmental allergies and she was feeling some effects. She said that her eyes were burning. That's not good.

We turned the supplementary air conditioner on and pointed the vent at the counter, so as to push the smell away from us. The perfume was so strong, that didn't even save us.

Y'all, she was a customer to linger. She wanted things wrapped. She was buying some necklaces from the counter, but she couldn't make a decision. Meanwhile, we were gasping for air. Anything fresh-like would do.

Do people not know that there are people who have asthma attacks from perfume too strong, or sometimes perfume in general?

STOP BATHING IN IT PEOPLE! One squirt. Into the air. Walk into it. Voila! Light! Airy! Do-able!

Oh, and to the man who decided that it was proper to re-tie the drawstring tie on his pants as he waited at the counter, DON'T DO THAT! WE DON'T WANT TO SEE THAT AND YOU SHOULD GO TO THE BATHROOM TO DEAL WITH SUCH A THING! Oh. my. word.

All right. We've had this discussion before, but I believe that it needs revisited. To the woman who dropped her boys off in the toy room-- it is not a place for babysitting. As you went to the store NEXT DOOR, your child with behavioral problems decided to help himself to toys at the TOP shelf and play with them. Is that a big deal? Probably not, only that the toys that he helped himself to were being absolutely beaten on and they were $50.00 and $100.00 each. Really. I'm not kidding. Then, your inability to make a decision only held the process off longer. Oh, don't worry. While you were busy not parenting your boys, I took the toy away. That was after the handcrafted wooden lid went flying part way across the toy room. Oh, he was insistent that he would continue to play with it. His brother suggested otherwise. He was the voice of reason. It isn't his job to watch your son. Your son needs you. His behavioral issues, though not his fault, need you to be near him rather than over in the next store. Please keep him and his very touchy, touchy hands with you at all times.

If you know that we don't have boxes and tell you that we don't have boxes and you claim to us to know this as a fact, then why do you continue to ask for boxes that we DON'T HAVE?! Just sayin'.

Don't pick the flowers. We aren't allowed to and you aren't either.

We have minimums to meet when we order things. More specifically, when we order something from an artist or a company, we have to purchase a minimum dollar amount with each person. We have to abide by their policy. I know that you would really love us to order that $1.25 pocket coin. That means that we have to come up with probably $300.00 - $500.00 worth of product just to get that one little coin for you. I'm sorry that we can't get it right now. We need to be mindful of the stock we have on hand and the cost that we have to incur to order that small item. Minimums are the pits. We agree. It is what it is, though. "But I've been waiting and I've been in at least 8 times." Here's an idea, put your money where your mouth is. Order an actual quantity of them (we're talking 10-20), so it makes it worth our while to get it. Those come in bags of 100. We don't order just by suggestion. Deposits talk. You'd be amazed at what we'll order if there is a deposit placed.

Okay, in general public and the gallery, please STOP! wearing shirts with your funky bra straps hanging out and if I see one more butt that comes in with PINK plastered to it, I'll scream. I love periwinkle. Haven't see that one come in yet. Good on you if you have a tail end to carry a word that long. Seriously though, I am so tired of the word stamped pants. I don't want to be looking at your butt. Believe me. When you come in with words the size of 500 point font stamped across your butt, we can't help but to see.

Speaking of seeing, if you could keep the lower undergarments completely under wraps, that would be fantastic. You see, I don't want to see the quantity of fabric involved in the coverage option that you have chosen for the day. Just as I wish that belts and slips would make a comeback, I would love for you to cover the backside so I can't see the fuchsia bits hanging out.

If you drop something, please check it to make certain that it isn't broken before you quickly shove it back onto the shelf. To the lady who dropped the glass nail files in front of me today, when you left, I did go back and inspect them. Thankfully, they were okay. It's all right. We all drop stuff. In fact, as I decorate for Christmas, do you know how many things take a header from the ceiling? Still, a "Gosh I'm so sorry. Let me check to see if this is broken." would have been sufficient. I promise not to be mad.

Men, put the seat down. It is a co-ed public bathroom. It is a one-seater. We ladies have to touch the seat to put it down after you've been in there. That's gross. Do I have to put a sticker on the underside of the seat reminding you? I had to do that to our employee dedicated bathroom upstairs. Yes, it worked.

When it is the end of the day and we're closing, we're happy to help you. We're happy to wrap your stuff for you. Please for the love of Pete and Pete's brother Pete MAKE A DECISION AND STOP ADDING THINGS TO YOUR ORDER WHEN YOU TELL US THAT YOU ARE DONE. It failed to be cute after the first three times.

Breath mints. Just know that we know when you've had onions. We can also tell when you have over-indulged.

When you've lost your keys, but finally find them at the bottom of your bag, that means that you need a smaller bag. It might save you a few more heart attacks in the future.

Stupidity as an act isn't attractive. This is to all the young women AND young men that have been in the last few days that believe that being outright ignorant for their "mate" makes them more fetching. Uh, no. Y'all are way more intelligent. We can tell. Don't act dumb. That kind of relationship never lasts. Eventually they will see that you actually have a brain. You should just show them that from beginning!

To the crabby lady who came in. Thank you for turning your frown upside down. I'm glad that we were able to come to the conclusion that your day was not being so fabulous to you and you left happy. Your irritation over the gift receipt was easily fixed and the co-worker meant no harm. In your absence, she made a judgement call. Thank you so much for being so nice on your way out.

So, what are your public retail pet peeves?

Smiles in my day:
- Eating fresh snap peas from the garden with K-. She's never had them fresh from the vine and she loved them! Thanks for sharing, Rachael!
- Using my Kohl's coupon for $10.00 off $10.00 and managing to get $56.00 worth of nightgowns for K- for $5.60. (2 nightgowns at $28.00 each.) Thank you Discover for the great coupon! Keep 'em coming!
- The new batch of Japanese erasers came in. Both K- and my niece, C-, were waiting for them. They had the bellies of their pigs full just waiting. We now have a green frog, a pink duck, a set of blue teeth, a bowling set and two baby sets (1 girl and 1 boy) to add to our already vast collection. They are so wonderful and fun!

Have a great day!


ChupieandJ'smama said...

You're on a roll. Love it.
Hate the "Pink" pants. I'm never one to draw attention to the backside (I'd need "wide load" on mine) but really? And I certainly wouldn't want my 14 year old daughter to either... Think nasty old men.

Bailey's Leaf said...

Amen to that sister. People don't think. There are creepy people out there and they are just putting it all out there for them, aren't they?

Not only is K- not permitted to wear anything with words stamped to the butt, but she is only permitted a one piece bathing suit. A touch of modesty isn't a bad thing.