Friday, February 12, 2010

Take it in, process it and let it go.

Hubs and I have spent quite a bit of time this evening discussing crabby people/situations and their effect on us.

Folks, it isn't pretty.

Hubs' digestive issues get him down. Sometimes that can make him crabby and occasionally can make me crabby.

My mom will call, yell at me for something dumb, then I will be crabby.

Hubs gets unappreciative and nasty people to his programs sometimes. That makes him crabby.

K- gets the 'I wants,' it makes me crabby, her crabby and Hubs crabby.

The furnace was acting up. While it is completely fixed now after simply rubbing a scotch brite pad against some rod, it made both of us concerned and slightly crabby. After all, it is only 4 1/2 years old. Still. We replaced the furnace filter, which had been replaced in October and it made no difference. We replaced the batteries in the thermostat and the next morning, I woke to the gas igniting and shutting down. We worried that the house would go cold and cause plumbing issues, among other things.

Hubs pulls something when he works out and that can make him crabby.

This week K- had a situation with M-, her autistic bully. The situation seemed innocent enough, as it was an exchange of pictures that each of the children drew. It was a fantastic move forward for both K- and M- in light of the struggles that each has had with the other. Then I saw the picture. Leaving out details, the drawing was from an Autistic child who definitely has some very pronounced social issues. Knowing that, but knowing what he drew, I wrote a letter to the teacher and sent the picture back. K- was upset that I was taking the picture, a figurative white flag to her. I bluntly explained what her dad and I saw in the picture then she understood our having taken the actions we did. Still, it made her crabby until she understood.

My brother is doing absolutely awesome, but he is still without a license and won't drive for fear of imprisonment if he should be picked up. I don't blame him. That leaves us to share the transportation. Mom calls, runs down the mileage she has logged, amount she has put out in gas . . . I take him, too. I never keep count of gas or mileage. I am doing the Lord's work. My brother is doing better than he has in more years than I can tell you. This evening, Hubs and I discussed about how we stand by what we told my brother. As long as he is making positive changes in his life, we will back him. Our backing him means that we are going to lose out on the opportunity to have lunch with Hubs at work tomorrow, but we have rescheduled that date. Still, I brought up to my mother that because I need to take my brother tomorrow, I will miss the opportunity to schedule something fun for K-. "Well I'm sorry that I'm messing up your plans with YOUR DAUGHTER."

By nature, I'm the fixer. As the middle child, I've done everything that I can do to keep the peace within the family. It's my God given job. Still, there are days that I find the job utterly taxing. Isn't it Mother Teresa who said, "God only gives you what you can handle, I just wished that he didn't trust me so much?"

It brings us to this-- take it in, process it and let it go. It has been my mantra for quite some time, but I need to be reminded of it. I take to heart too much of what happens. I lie awake praying about my friend C- and her breast biopsy. I worried and prayed about K-'s stomach ache Monday night. I'll pray through the night for Hubs and my brother. I see people losing their houses. I see financial hardship. I encounter crabby people throughout my day and that can bring me down.

Take it in, process it and let it go. I need to.

Smiles in my day:
- K's class Valentine party. The kids really had a great time.
- Mrs. H-'s thank you note to us. Really quite sweet and written from the heart.
- The neighbors going out with shovels in hand and shoveling the end of all of our driveways after the snow plow came through. They were working in a pack of three. K- yelled thank you out to them. How nice!
- C- called to check in. In light of everything, she is doing well.

Have a great weekend!


ChupieandJ'smama said...

I need to "Take it in, process it and let it go". Most of the time I do OK with this, but I think PMS is getting me right now. My Facebook status yesterday? "Dear Lord, please help me to not throw a beat down today. The next person I come across who has decided to not use their brain today is likely to get it". Yes, I actually wrote that. One person set me off in the morning and I spent the rest of the morning VERY cranky (and apparently I had to let everyone on Facebook know it).
I'm going to try and be better at the "process it and let it go" part. Apparently I'm really good at taking it in :)

Hope you all are shoveled out!! Are you still snow shoeing this weekend? If so, have a wonderful, safe, and semi-warm time :)

Rach said...

Oh, Amy, we ALL have those crabby days. ALL of us. I'm especially terrible in the mornings when I haven't had enough sleep and Lil is being her typical four year old self about getting ready. Oy.

I'm pretty good about taking it in, processing it and letting it go. That is one of the big things I got from losing Hannah--you really do figure out what's worth your time and energy and what isn't. Does this mean I don't still hold a grudge when my hormones are raging or if I've just HAD it with my students and bring it home with me? Unfortunately, no.

But, for the most part, I don't let the stupid people get me down anymore. It's not worth the energy. :oP

I hope all goes well today and it is a day less grumpy. You deserve it! :o)