Friday, October 11, 2013

Why we aren't on Facebook.

We are not on Facebook.  It's true.  Believe it or not, the world around us doesn't collapse.  There are several reasons.  My husband is a public employee.  The most simple conversations on Facebook can be taken out of context and people lose jobs.  (I know of someone who that happened to.)  My daughter is young and adopted.  She has friends on Facebook.  Keep in mind that K is 9.  I'm just not interested.

A lot of friends are on Facebook.  In fact, I think all of my friends are.  There are some friends who communicate by Facebook only and I'm often told, "Oh yeah, you aren't on Facebook.  That's why you don't know."  There have been friendships that have fallen away because of our decision to shun the great Facebook phenomenon.

I've written about this before.

I know that there are folks who use it to get together with people that they haven't seen in years.  While that is wonderful to them, I'm really rather okay with speaking with the people that I speak with by phone/text or e-mail.  I wasn't fond of my high school experience and Hubs wasn't either.  We're both fine on not speaking to people or catching up to see what they are doing with their lives because, well, they treated us like crap in high school and while neither one of us wish them any ill will-- we still aren't interested in knowing if they just went to France or bought a new house.  I don't have a romantic notion that though they treated both of us beyond terrible that we'll let bygones be bygones and I'll be BFFs with them.  Just ain't gonna happen.

I am not interested in posting where I'm at for people to meet up with me when they are out.  We don't get out much and when we do, a party of three is perfectly fine with us.

We have a school Facebook account.  The PTA is on giving updates and whatnot.  This past week has been a bunch of drama and frankly, I would like to shut it down.  People can go back to the old fashioned way of doing things and either picking up a phone :shutter at the thought: or going up to the school and inquiring.  I wonder if we're just feeding the beast of nastiness and if it's usefulness for the school has been trumped by prize controversy or whether it is a spirit day or not.

"You need to read Facebook."  I was told that by one of my board members this morning.

"No I don't.  I'm blissfully Facebook unaware."

I did tell them that they had to stop and give me a two-sentence bit about what was going on.  Being the PTA president, I need to know.  It's trivial garbage that some parent blew out of proportion over the color of a shirt.

To quote my husband, "I wished that I had that kind of time."

Because of Facebook, we've not known about illnesses.  We've been unaware of birthday parties until less than 16 hours before the event and the party was 2 hours away.  We've been unaware of surgeries. We've been unaware of changes of dates.  We've been unable to participate in certain contests and general inquiries because they are Facebook only.  These among many other things.

I did have an informal meeting with one of the Facebook parents.  It was a sidewalk meeting while walking home.  She was on her way down the walk and turned around to come back to speak with me.  I'm glad she did.  In the end I asked her, "If you have a question like that, could you just text me?  I may not have the answer or may not be able to get to your text right away because of work, but I promise I'll find something out for you."  She seemed okay with that option.

You know what?  We're good without Facebook.  Our family of three will continue to be blissfully Facebook-free.  From what I hear, I don't need the drama that comes with it.


Rach said...

I deactivated my account three years ago and couldn't be happier. My mom tries to drag me into the drama and I refuse.

People act like spoiled brats and say and do things on FB they would NEVER do in real life. Would that woman make such a big stink about the color of a shirt (REALLY?!??!? Good grief!) in a nasty way in real life?

I miss out on quite a bit, and quite frankly, I don't care. I don't.

My friend Jori was becoming more and more depressed and anxious this past week due to FB postings about the govt and the shutdown and whatnot and I told her to just get off. I told her she'd be so much happier.

She deleted her account two days ago and I can already tell a difference.

FB is just not for the me. I'm enough of an emotional sponge without soaking up all the FB crap.

ChupieandJ'smama (Janeen) said...

I never had any fb drama. I guess I'm a lucky one!!

I shunned it too but had to join when I worked for WEGO Health. I post a few pictures on there and some local updates for local friends (what's going on in town kind of stuff), but mostly I use it to keep up to date on food allergies. The food allergy community is vast on fb and I scroll through things daily to keep up to date on new products, possible treatments etc. Just the other day someone posted a donut maker. I need that for J. I sent a picture of it to dh and said "Christmas present, please".
But that's about it for me. Oh and I follow or friend a lot of Catholic people and sites and it keeps me up to date on what the Catholic church is up to. Pretty tame stuff here.
Our school has a fb page, but they don't use it. They mostly communicate through paper and email. That's really best because even if you have fb, unless you are constantly checking it, you'll probably miss some things.