Tuesday, July 31, 2012

Tales from the Trenches: Why do I have to be the meanie?

I will start by saying that I love my husband and he is nothing but an absolutely wonderful father.  He is very involved with K-, knows and helps with her school studies, takes her on trips with just him and her, takes her to the doctor if that appointment falls on his day, cares for her when she is ill so that I can go to work and she loves him dearly.

With this, occasionally, I am put in the position of being the meanie.  It is not a place that I like to be.  Discipline is a must, though.

The other day, K- had been tired and a bit unwilling to cooperate and Hubs had told her that he wasn't going to get her a prize.  Now, he is the prize dad.  I am notsomuch the prize mom.  Good behavior is expected with me.  Good behavior is rewarded with dad. 

I think that we need to hit a middle area. 

At any rate, K- came to me and asked about the prize.  "It has nothing to do with me, K-.  That's up to you and dad."  "But he sent me to ask you."  I asked him about it and he said that it was up to me.  "Um, no.  This is your deal."  "But (get this) you are the disciplinarian." 

What?  It is true.  I have to put on my mean mommie hat and sometimes have to force K- to finish homework, household tasks and so forth.  Tidying her bedroom is a weekly hassle.  Grant you, it is much better than it was and a 10 minute tidy would really take care of the job.  I feel like I am pulling hairs out one at a time in some weird unpublished torture to myself.  Oh sweet heaven, sometimes I just want to do it for her, but I won't.  I'll take the agony over making it easy.  Sometimes three hours later, that 10 minutes worth of work gets done.

It's a bummer though.  As the mama, I am home more often and am looked at as more the disciplinarian.  I run a tightish ship at the House of Bailey's Leaf.  We both want K- to be respectful, responsible and thoughtful.  She is absolutely all of those things.  It is because of discipline that she is, though.

When she gets older, will she hate me or respect me for having to be the meanie?

Smiles in my day:
-  Lil Mak is fighting off a virus and until she can successfully keep food down, they will keep her at the hospital.  My brother does not have insurance for her, so this will be a rather costly stay for them that they didn't expect.  They've made payment arrangements, but I'm hoping that they will go forth and secure insurance now.
-  I texted my brother Billy about Lil Mak's condition.  While I did break the "don't contact me" rule that he laid out after I got on him about his screaming and swearing at Mom, he did contact Mom to find out what Mak's issue was and was going to leave work to sit at the hospital with Dump and Renee.  I laid out an olive branch and though there was no reciprocation, at least I wasn't poked in the eye with it.
-  K- ran into Noggin (Billy's son) at the pool today and they got to talk for a bit.  It did her heart good to be able to see him.  He's enrolled in school where they are living and I think that he is looking forward to starting school there again. 
-  Laying out a prayer request and y'all pray without ceasing.  Thank you much for that!

Have a great night!

1 comment:

Rach said...

I'm the meanie mom too--but I bet you already knew that. ;o) I hate that. B will jump in if I request it, but I'm the one busting my hump to get the girls' rooms cleaned (I'm not doing it, just cracking the whip). Argh!

I'm convinced parents who do everything for their children are doing them no favors because the "real world" is then a horrible wake-up call where they know how to do nothing and nothing is fair. Just ask them.