Friday, September 11, 2009

My daughter read her first book to me.

That's right. In school for 2 weeks, public school no less (a bigger public school system that gets poo-poo'd on a little from time to time, but our district portion rates high), and my child read a whole entire book to me. It is a book called The Family, which is a Sails First Wave book (a beginner book with the focus words of I am a), but she read it all. Now, when she got to the word "grandpa" she said, "I am a old man." Truthful, but incorrect. I helped her out. She read by sight and by picture clues. I am so proud of her. The first book. Quite a milestone. We did give her a leg up by doing the reading class this summer. We've worked a little on sight words, but didn't do a huge concentration on it. Simple words that I tell her, I've been spelling to her (like good, fit, hungry . . . anything really generally 3-4 letters.)

Sorry. I had to be that mom. I had to give the kid back pats. But, I'm mommy and I'm allowed.

So, Rachael-darling, you were right. I think that Tuesday, the day of the said paper gone wrong was really a day in flux. More specifically, they came back after an exhaustingly long weekend where far too many hot dogs were consumed, there was much swimming, many layers of sunscreen, fires, late nights and whatnot. Also, we had voting and the kids had to eat in their rooms as opposed to the gym. The papers are back on track and I was worried for nothing. She just had a hiccup in her Kindergarten day, though Hubs and I stressed that it is important to do the work that is asked of her, to participate in class even though she may not want to (she did just fine in gym) and to make certain to use her words (for the boy who likes to tickle her sides and the girl who has a fascination with her long hair and likes to play with it.)

I had Hubs run a "Pick-a-chick" this evening. (AKA roasted chicken from Walmart with macaroni salad.) Y'all, I was feeling so bad this evening come 5 PM that I actually fell asleep for a short time on the couch. I never take a nap, except for when I'm ill. It was no match for Oscillococcinum. I had to go for the big boys. I took Advil Cold and Sinus again. Happily, it helped me to get back to normal, though I am beginning to sneeze my fool head off (I'm an obnoxiously loud sneezer-- thanks Mom.) I'm washing my hands excessively and all that. I'm hoping to score an appointment with my lovely doctor tomorrow so that if it is a sinus infection (the beginnings of I would be willing to bet), he can pass on some lovely drugs before it gets unbearable.

I was able to get the bathroom cleaned, carpets swept and all the laundry washed, line dried and put away. Apparently, another Carpenter bee came in the laundry, but it decided to hang out on the window screen. Hubs gathered it up in a hat, had me go ahead of him and open the door and it flew out to freedom.

Oh, I accidentally left my moon roof open last night and thank God it didn't rain.

On our way home, on family had pulled off into someone's yard and asked K- where her horse was. Apparently, now she has a reputation for trotting to school on her hobby horse! :)

Sadly, my grandmother's rehab compliance meeting didn't go very well. Her apartment was okay, but grandma's performance was less than wonderful. It was hard for my aunt and biological father to witness. Grandma wasn't able to figure out how to go to the kitchen, though it is an open main floor plan apartment and the kitchen was right in front of her. She was unable to operate the microwave, to the point that we unplugged it to assure that she would be safe. To be compliant, we also pulled the stove plug. She couldn't remember 9-1-1. She didn't remember my aunt's phone number, though she was home only a month ago. My aunt was answering questions for my grandmother and I sent my biological father in to have her shush. She didn't take it well, they ended up arguing and my aunt left. I found her in her apartment crying. I've never seen that. My biological father was in tears. It is hard for both of them to see their mother so cognitively declined. From the years that I spent working for a geriatric psychologist, I know what we are dealing with. I know the tasks that they were wanting my grandmother to perform-- on her own. My aunt just so wants grandma to be home. I can't blame her. I sat down and spoke with both my aunt and biological father separately and told them the same thing. They just want what is best for their mother, but to see her in a state where it is possible that she may not be able to come back home is very hard. In the end, I halted my aunt's bad mood behavior toward Bill with this. I asked her if Christ was standing right next to Bill (my biological father), would she say the things then that she would have before? It stopped my aunt dead in her tracks. She apologized profusely to me for being so upset. My aunt is a Christian. She is a strong Christian woman, but we are not perfect. She just needed that kick in the butt to turn her back around. Hurt feelings are hurt feelings. They are both hurting, not meaning to hurt each other but they just are so upset about their mother.

In the end, I had to break it to my aunt that Grandma will not be home tomorrow, but perhaps next week. I had to break it to my grandmother, too, but she took it far better than my aunt did. I also told Aunt Donna about moving the bed over and turning the nightstand so we were compliant with the rehab folks. She was mad about unplugging the microwave, but their home health aide backed me up on that and said I was just doing what was asked of me. I also had to break it to my aunt that perhaps grandma coming home is not a good thing. The rehab folks noted that her cognitive level is much altered from the time she had been home last. I don't know if that is necessarily completely correct, as grandma hit the cognitive skids about a year or so ago. I can tell you that for certain she would fail a Folstein Mini Mental State Exam, which is a basic, quick psychologist tool to help assess older adults with time and short term memory. It asks questions such as the year, president, where they are at, to remember 3 basic things and to repeat them back at the end of the test, spell the word "WORLD" backwards . . . In a million years, grandma would never pass.

So that leaves me to now. It is nearly 10 PM, I have cramps, a runny nose and I'm tired. I'll say that my smiles in my day are mixed in above.

Have a wonderful weekend!

* The biological father thing is probably hard for most to grasp. Though I disowned him at the age of 15 because he abandoned us for the greener pastures of Oregon (to get away from paying the thousands in child support that he owed, didn't notify us when he left or anything), I had a legal name change and was adopted by my stepfather, who has been more of a father figure to me that my biological father ever was. My biological father never had time for us and though he lived the next town over, he was never a see-you-on-the-weekend dad, no phone calls or anything. He saw us 4 times a year for approximately an hour each visit, once taking us to the local bar. The visitation situation was by his choice. So, though he thinks that it would be all sunshiny to "rekindle" a relationship with me, I choose to work with him in matters concerning my grandmother, but he knows that I've politely confirmed that I do not consider us family. And yes, at 15 it was a hard decision to make, but I did so with much thought and consideration. I do not regret it.

7 comments:

Rach said...

Holy moly, so much going on. I'm so sorry about Grandma (and I completely understand the Bill-thing). I'm sorry *you* had to be "reasonable" party and try to talk to your aunt and Bill. It's such a difficult situation and I'm so sorry about that.

I meant to comment the other day when you mentioned Bailey and how to respond when people ask about children. I have the same problem. All. The. Time. When I am asked if this is my first pregnancy I don't want to say, "No, it's my second" because, it's NOT. It IS my third and I want to honor Hannah. I get that.

Okay, randomness aside, I'm glad K has been having a better days at school. The adjustment period is tough--trust me, we're STILL working on it with the big kids. ;o)

And, how WONDERFUL K read an entire book! Was she beyond proud of herself? :o)

I hope you're feeling better soon. Have a great weekend, Amy!

An Aquarian Mind said...

Wow... a lot for you have to have gone through - on top of being sick.

I understand the biological father thing... I'm the product of a 3 month long marriage and don't know mine. He dismissed me before I was old enough, but not before causing permanent damage. Same situation with the stepdad thing... he was always a better dad to me than my own was.

It really stinks that your g-ma isn't well enough to pass the rehab rules. It is better to be safe than sorry.

But YAY for K on reading a whole book! Those kindergarten milestones sure do turn into life skills, don't they?

Bailey's Leaf said...

Isn't the 'Everything I Needed to Know I Learned in Kindergarten' true? Amen sister!

Denise said...

Try playing Er-u-di-tion™ with your daughter!

This award winning game helps children learn to read, spell and understand the most common words in the English language while playing an entertaining board game.

The game incorporates over 300 sight words as well as the letters of the alphabet and their basic phonic sounds in an enjoyable, engaging activity.

Game cards are categorized to promote differentiated instruction so children of all reading levels can play together! The average play time is 15-20 minutes and is ideal for ages 4-8.

Melissa said...

I was reading through and getting mad at you. Until I read your postscript.

You see when I call my father my father, sometimes people try to correct me by saying he is my step-father. I do not allow steps, halfs, and whatnot when it comes to my family. I will correct whoever says it. My father may be my second, but he is the best dad ever.

My first father died when I was 4. I cannot imagine a father who leaves on purpose.

Bailey's Leaf said...

Melissa,

That's why I put the post script on there. I figured that I would throw people for a loop with the biological father bit.

I agree completely about specifications regarding steps/halves and whatnot. People come in wholes. Just this past week, there was a political flier that was mailed to our home, listing the members of the family. It listed the step daughter as such twice. That made me so mad! I also hate when obituaries are written with specification of halves/steps and whatnot.

I have a brother that is by blood a step brother. I have never ever once referred to him as such. We grew up with him as a brother and nothing less than or labeled as such. My parents just made it a non-issue.

Thanks for commenting. Thank you for understanding. Sadly, he chose to dump us. That's okay, when my mom re-married, my father took us under his wing, as we were his own, and did everything with us that a father would do. He did projects, after school care, dinner prep, house cleaning and all that as he and my mom worked jobs to keep our home alfloat. We weren't wealthy by any stretch, so he would take us to the river, slide down the spillway with us, make bamboo poles for us to fish with, go sled riding and whatnot. He is our father and we wanted to honor him as such.

Michelle said...

That is so exciting about K reading to you!! She's learning so much every day!

I'm sorry about the situation with your grandma :(