Wednesday, January 18, 2012

The women's large handbag: What the heck do you carry in that thing?

I will admit from the very beginning that I carry a small purse.  Prior to the Epi Pen event, I carried what I lovingly referred to as a wallet on a string. 

I have customers who come in with the overly largesque woman's bag.  For years, it has made me wonder what the heck is in there.  Once, we had a lady in with a huge bag.  She flopped it on the counter and proceeded to dig and dig and dig.  I couldn't help but to tease her and say, "It's just like Mary Poppins!  I wonder if you'll be pulling a hat stand out of your bag!"  She chuckled but my co-worker did not.  In fact, she gave me a good whisker lickin's about it later.  Apparently, the bag was a Dolce and Gabbana bag that was probably $2500. or more.  I'm sorry that I'm not so cool to know these things.  :insert sarcastic tone:  The lady thought it was funny and that is all that mattered.

Really, though.  What is in those things?  I see women without children (or toddling or younger children) carrying them.  Mostly, I see really young college age girls then it shoots to women in their mid-50's.  My co-worker, 41 and without children, carries one.  She carries a coloring book and crayons (for herself), a drink at any given moment, some extra tights, her make-up, purses inside of her purse.  The size of her bag is something that I feel that I could crawl inside of, sprawl out and take a comfy nap on lunch.

Would you like to know my theories of what is contained in the other mystery bags?  Allow me to share those with you:

1.  The keys to all the cities in Ohio and maybe all the houses.
2.  It secretly pops out into an emergency shelter.
3.  It contains an additional toilet.
4.  And a make-up mirror.
5.  And nearly all of the high end make-up available at the various counters at Macy's.
6.  Since it is just barely under the size of regulation carry-on, I think it is packed to go at a moments notice.
7.  For some far off place that you may be visiting.
8.  For weeks.
9.  An entire shoe rack.
10.  An ER and! a staff nurse.
11.  Enough snacks for a large elementary.  Meaning all of the kids.  (Ours is 500 + kids, so that is my estimation.)
12.  A Smart Car.  I mean, you can put those things anywhere, can't you?
13.  The kitchen sink.
14.  And a crock-pot.  Well, because it has it's own generator system, right?
15.  To make meals and have them on the go.
16.  Hot.
17.  On the soccer field.
18.  Or on safari. 
19.  And you have the kitchen sink with you to be able to clean the dishes!
20.  And the bag packed at a moments notice right?
21.  For a family of four.
22.  And a dog.
23.  And the cat.
24.  And the goldfish, too.

Seriously, what do y'all carry in those things?  If you don't have a baby or a toddler (Janeen, I know you have a pantry in yours), what is in your bag?  It is a true mystery to me.  Here's what I generally have in my bag.  (Change of bag, nearly same structure, but now with Epi.)  Okay, my second layer is Purell, a bottle with Advil and Excedrin Migraine and a bottle of Zantac with chewable Benadryl to use for the bee sting that isn't possible right now.

Clue me in.  I swear, people reach into the bag and I do expect a hat stand, house plants, a hat, a mirror and a tape measure to come out. 

A why for the day:
Why is it that the battery has to die in the smoke detector in the middle of the night?  Ours chirps from the moment that it decides that there is not enough juice and every 15 seconds thereafter (no kidding) until you want to beat it with a broom.  Instead, you poke your husband to go get it, because he's tall enough to reach it.

ETA:  Thanks, Susan!  I typed this when I was tired and didn't realize that it sounded as if I was blogging about plus sized women and their purses.  Oops!  Thanks for the head's up!


Susan said...

Hello, I live overseas and don't have a car. A lot of things people usually keep in their vehicle would be found in my bag, including:

mini umbrella
my agenda (datebook)
mini lint roller (I have a dog!)
pocket Bible :-)
small notebook, pens
small container of bandaids (I'm on foot, remember?)
Hand Sanitizer
My wallet, my coin purse, train/bus/tram pass keeeper-wallet
a book

Hence, I need a bigger bag. Or sometimes I have to double bag it: my handbag and a book bag.

At first I thought you were going to blog about larger-sized women and their handbags. yikes!

I'm not sure how I found your blog - we don't know each other and I live in Europe! But I find it very entertaining, informative and interesting. Thanks for blogging!

ChupieandJ'smama said...

-Epi Pen and bottle of Benadryl
-Large wallet that holds credit cards, store cards, and check book
-container of wipes (to wipe down anything J would touch and get possible allergen contamination
-table toppers (in case we eat out)
-gum and mints
-hand sanitizer
-pen and pencils
-emergency snack for J
I currently carry this bag:
Only I didn't pay that price. I got it at Dillards on sale for $100.00 less.

Bailey's Leaf said...

Hey Susan! So glad to have you! You see, it is the giant bag clarity that you and Janeen (a cousin) give me.

I've since changed the blog post title. Thanks! Yikes on the oops. Tired when I wrote it.

Janeen, I'm not surprised in the slightest, but girl, you could fit your truck in that thing, or at least the spare tire! I know that you need to haul lots to keep Little Man safe (major gigantic food allergies). It doesn't even have wheels. ;)

Thank you, ladies! The large bag always gives me giggles, but I've had people ask me how I can cruise with such a small bag!