Monday, March 7, 2011

Apparently, I'm a millionaire.

You know, Hubs and I are pretty simple people.  When my ATM Visa arrives, I'll use only what I need, put some up for K- for college, then share the rest with everyone.  Just look!

Attention: Sir/ Madam, (Rest assured, it is Madam)


Following the outcome of today's meeting, with president and the Nigerian financial brands the platform for the Nigeria financial services. After due vetting and evaluation of your inheritance file by the incubate President Federal Republic of Nigerian, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan. (They don't know my name or gender, but they have vetted and evaluated (whatever that might mean) my inheritance file by the INCUBATE President?  Well, at least he wasn't an incumbent!) 

After due verifications of your file he find out that you have been going through hard ways by paying a lot of charges to see your $27,000,000.00 Million is release, but due to on Godly people in the office you where passing much difficulties, with this effect Mr. President Federal Republic of Nigerian, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan, has approve to central bank to credited your fund true ATM visa card which will be delivered direct to your door house this is due to incessant fraud, financial malpractices and even terrorism, including scams.  (Did you scratch your head when reading this?  I had to read it several times.  Apparently, I'm going through hard ways to see my millions released, but due to what I presume are ungodly people and not on Godly people, the Mr. President Federal Republic of Nigerian, who just so happens to have the name of Goodluck, has decided to credit my ATM visa card, which I do not have, and deliver it right to my door house!  This way, we can skip all that fraud stuff, right?)

I wish to inform you that in line with the prevalent procedures here in the financial sector, the recalled fund 0f $27,000,000.00 Million for which you are the bonafide beneficiary can be redeemed only if you engage the services of ATM visa card which will be issued to you by central bank of Nigeria, this bank will empower sufficiently to render the services required to effectively have the ATM visa card approved, endorsed and thus released to you in your contact home address without any delay.  (Their prevalent procedures are just fantastic.  I can't believe my luck!  I'm the beneficiary, but some how they don't have my information.  Certainly, I want to empower the bank to sufficiently render the services so that I can have the ATM visa card approval.  Without delay?  Wow!)

this method has been adopted in lieu of existing and to clear to you that this is real and legitimate transaction now we have taking the legitimate power to see that you're fund will be transfer by ATM visa card. With this effect you are advice to forward to us with under listed information's to enable the bank perfect the delivery.  (I removed his e-mail address to keep people from inundating him with requests for millions.  I could tell by his fragmented writing in this last paragraph that he was writing with great speed, so that he could get this most important message to me.)
Your Full Name:

You're Contact Address: (You are contact address.  Nope, I am human.)

You're Office Address: (You are office address.  No, still not an address, though I have been addressed.)

You're Telephone Number:  (You are telephone number.  I am a number to the government, but not a phone number.)

You're Identification, which must be your Driving License or your International Passport.  (You are identification.  I have identification, but I'm not identification.  When I wake up in the morning and my hair is all over, I may be misidentified.  We curly headed gals suffer from that.)

With this information's the bank will successfully delivered your ATM VISA CARD to your doorstep.  (Well you know, that's certainly not too much to ask.)

Yours faithfully, (At least he isn't on Godly.)

Rev Mike Wilfred.  (Doesn't sound terribly Nigerian, does it?)
Personal Sectary to the President Of Federal Republic of Nigeria. (He's a sectary?  There for a minute, I confused him with a SECRETARY.  Silly me.)
If you'll excuse me, I have a door house to pretty up.  That ATM Visa card should be arriving shortly.  To speed things up, perhaps I should give him my bank account number.  I know that with a name like Goodluck, he has to be an honest man!

Smiles in my weekend:
-  We sacked out at home on the excessively rainy Saturday, read a book together and made a lovely dinner together.
Some Kind of Wonderful was on the TV Guide Channel.  I haven't seen that movie in years!  RIP John Hughes.  Hubs even sat and watched it with me.  We caught it about 1/3 of the way through, but lucky for us, they were running it again.  We didn't watch the whole movie in the traditional manner, but we did get to watch all of it.  I love, love, love 80's movies and the music that goes with. 
-  We had a great day at the Carnegie Science Center.  It is like COSI on steroids.  We had a great time, the building is built with a fantastic flow, so you aren't always competing with others and don't have people plowing you over.  COSI is like a giant warehouse (Hubs' description) and it is bit and pieced.  Flow isn't good and people aren't courteous.  Since we are museum pass holders and Carnegie is a reciprocal museum, we saved the $46.00 for admission.  Hooray for museums that partner up for admission!
- We visited IKEA, where we picked up a bookshelf for K-'s bedroom. Y'all, the child has a collection of books that she loves. Each. and. every. book. We bought her this. The child had books on her desk side bookcase, on her desk, above her bed, in the cubby of her bed, on the floor in between her bed and the wall (lovingly called the ditch), in the living room, in the car and on the table. We had to absolutely deal with the problem. Look!  (Ignore the jaundiced look of her room.  I have a splitting headache and didn't feel like tweaking with the camera for the right setting.)

-  We've got the case hung for K-'s Madame Alexander dolls.  (The dolls are a family tradition for the girls in Hubs' family.)  I'm going to make an attempt at getting the dolls dusted and in the case tomorrow. 

For now, I'm exhausted.  Have a wonderful day!


Rach said...

LMBO! You are TOO funny!

You know, I've never received one of those Nigerian letters. Hm. How come YOU get to be a millionaire and *I* don't? ;o)

I love IKEA. Lovin' that bookshelf. You know we have the same total absorption and adoration of books in this house. :o)

Bailey's Leaf said...

I have your address. I could pass it onto Mr. Goodluck if you'd like. ;)

K-'s collection of books? We say that she rivals the selection at the local branch. Not really, but the child has so many. We love books, so it's all good. We purchased to accommodate.

Rach said...

Oh, would you? Puh-LEEZ?!? ;o)