Tuesday, November 30, 2010

The end of time.

Regular readers know that my grandmother has been suffering with Stage 4 Small Cell Lymphoma for the last 5 1/2 years.  Last evening she started having seizures.  Now, Morphine is being given for the pain.  If it isn't Hospice giving it, it is up to me.  I've been trained by Hospice how to measure, give it, log it and lock it back up.  I've also been given the full run on how to crush up Ativan and how to give that to Grandma if she is having a seizure. 

My prayers for Grandma?  That her passing be gentle and as painless as possible.  I don't want her to hang on and be in misery.  What she is right now is not the grandma that I know. 

She did tell me that she loved me today.

She did ask, "Where is your little girl?"  So, she remembered K-, even though she couldn't think of her name.  For her, that is huge. 

I stopped in this morning before work.  That's when I got the morphine talk.  I dropped in on lunch to give it to Grandma.  I came back by at about 6:15 PM and she was a lot better than she was this morning.  She's no longer able to drink on her own, but I gave her several medicine droppers full of Sprite.

Yes, that is what her liquid intake has come to.  Droppers full of Sprite. 

It's been a long day.  I don't expect it to get any shorter any time soon.


Rach said...

You know you have my prayers, as does Grandma.

Big hugs.

Sissy said...

I'm so sorry. Prayers for you and your family.